Shark Night 3D

Shark Night 3D
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Shark Night 3D Shark Night is a boring waste of time in which a group of people without personalities wander off camera and get eaten by a bunch of bad CGI. It drags down with it Joel David Moore, who amongst the group comes closest to having character traits and is also the only person involved in this film who can act. Some day heíll end up with the kind of role he deserves, but for now heís stuck in Shark Night 3D where the idiots survive and no one seems to figure out that humans with shark teeth cannot be trusted.

The worst thing about this movie is Sarah Paxton who, tasked with playing a character who mostly stands around and stares blankly, canít seem to figure out where she is. Youíd think it would help that her characterís also named Sarah and that the film doesnít really give her many lines, in spite of being the movieís lead, but it doesnít. She seems as lost as the movie itself. Sarahís really to blame for everything that goes on in this movie. She drags her college friends out to the lavish lake house where she grew up, where exactly what youíd expect to happen in a movie called Shark Night would happen, except a lot of it happens in the day time.

Some of it does happen at night though and no one seems to be able to figure out how not to be eaten by sharks. These arenít land sharks weíre talking about, or even the fresh water variety. Just your run of the mill sharks, except maybe a little faster, weíre talking Jet Ski speed beasties here. All anyone really has to do is stay out of the water, but thatís too much to ask for, particularly when thereís more going on here than a couple of tiger sharks and a hammerhead.

At one point the movie actually cribs the iconic theme song to Jaws. Iíd have been more offended by this if Jaws hadnít eventually spawned a bunch of equally awful sequels, one of which was even in 3D. Thereís nothing new here, just the usual bad shark movie stuff, except done with far worse special effects, scripting, and characters than it has ever been done with before. Oh and most of the shark munching happens off camera. Shark attacks are brutal and this movieís rated PG-13. They canít actually show those pointy teeth sinking into human flesh at that rating, but they can show you a lot of people falling into the water and half-heartedly screaming. Eat them already, Iím bored.

For an in-depth, factual analysis of Shark Night's 3D read To 3D Or Not To 3D.

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2 / 10 stars
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