Charlie Sheen Appointed Living Legend Of Sex - No Seriously

By The Angry Naked Bum: 2006-06-03 00:00:00

In a proactive show of support for pro-promiscuity initiatives around the world, Charlie Sheen kicks his mild-mannered alter-ego to the curb and courageously reveals himself to an awestruck world as the Man Who Slept With 5000 Women.

Yes, gentle reader, that Charlie Sheen. The young confused and sorta nice guy soldier from Platoon, the young, confused and sorta nice guy broker from Wall Street and the not-that-young confused and sorta nice guy from Spin City are all revealed to be the bland and boring every-man alter egos to…The Man Who Slept With 5000 Women aka Promiscuous Man. Yes friends, Promiscuous Man.. He who taunts AIDS and moons herpes. He who challenges gonorrhea to duels. He who thumb-wrestles syphilis in his spare time.

'Maxim' magazine anoints Charlie Sheen a Living Legend of Sex and gives us a little glimpse into the making of a twenty-first century superhero:

"The son of Martin and brother of Emilio Estevez has an infamous lust for hookers. The irony is, of course, that Charlie’s also quite capable of getting ladies who’ll do the deed gratis. It’s how he managed to rack up 5,000 pairs of boots knocked—including those of porn star Ginger Lynn and stunning soon-to-be ex-wife Denise Richards. Denise and Charlie have split, allegedly because she failed to take his observation, “You’re definitely one of the hottest 1,000 or so women I’ve banged, baby,” as a compliment (that’s top 20 percent, missy)."

Promiscuous Man’s archnemesis Promiscuous Woman aka Cheap Slut was reported to be in tears and muttering something about a double standard.

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flee Says:
June 6th, 2006 at 11:22
who gives a rat's ass!!!! we are at war, stupid

Josh Says:
June 6th, 2006 at 11:24
Apparently you care, since you saw this story's headline, clicked on it, read it, and then took the time to respond to it.

I fail to see what being at war has to do with Charlie's sexual prowess though.

Should we simply curl up in the corner in the fetal position and stop living because our President decided to blow things up? That would certainly be wonderful for the economy.

arthur Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 00:14
Agreed, what a DB, bringing war up during such a momentous announcement.

I say "bravo"! Here is a man who truly loves sex with different women, hell, he even stars in a show that spoofs his lifestyle! Hats off, Charlie, may your road be long and lush.

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Charlie Sheen Appointed Living Legend Of Sex - No Seriously

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