Hillbillys Attempt To Kill Obama

Dad gummit! Them G-Men foiled ours plans to asa-si-nate that dark skinned Mus-lam fellow.

In probably the easiest ever arrest made in the history of Colorado, three men and a woman were picked up for reportedly plotting to assassinate Presidential Candidate Barack Obama. The foursome were found with high-powered riffles, camouflage, methamphetamine, and other assorted redneck paraphernalia.

According to Perez Hilton, one of the men, humorously named Adolf, attempted to jump out of his sixth story hotel room but broke his ankle in the fall (a la John Wilkes Booth). Another doucher, who’s mugshot shows him with blonde tips, was booked after being pulled over for driving erratically. One of the accomplices even later admitted they were in Denver to “do in Obama.” Amateurs.

Here’s to hoping some racists with more intelligence and the same amount of hate in their hearts don’t attempt anything similar.

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