Locklear Checks Into Mental Health Facility

Television actress and perennial girlfriend to the stars Heather Locklear has checked herself into an Arizona treatment facility seeking a cure for her anxiety and depression. The forty-six year old mother who Chachi once famously dubbed “the greatest lover I ever had” has had her share of personal troubles in the last few years, losing her husband Richie Sambora to busty harlot Denise Richards and having the police called to her home after reportedly threatening suicide.

According to a statement her publicist gave to People, the actress will not speak publically on her current mental health stay and wishes only to get a proper diagnosis for medication from doctors. I’m not an M.D., myself, but I’d probably suggest chicken noodle soup, plenty of rest, and a break from drunken trainwrecks like Tommy Lee. Locklear is currently dating soap opera star Jack Wagner, one of only a few celebrities who carry a lower handicap than I, that asshole.

We here at Cinema Blend wish Heather a speedy recovery and send out a challenge to Jack Wagner. Eighteen holes. Five hundred dollars. No strokes given to either man. Any course in the world.

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