Rant: Stop Judging Miley Cyrus

In elementary school, we’re all dreamers. We worship firefighters and movie stars and models and presidents. We’re absolutely convinced life will bend and cater to our fanciest whims, and that’s why, despite the skinned knees and broken vases, our parents continue to love us.

In middle school, we’re all awkward. We poison our tongues with lies and neglect our schoolwork in the name of acceptance. Only we realize the life-or-death importance of sitting at the cool lunch table, and that’s why, despite the occasional apologies and after school hugs, our fathers shake their heads and sigh.

In high school, we’re all train wrecks. We nervously throw back our first vodka shots and grope our way to second base. We tune out common sense and ignore hundreds of parental lectures because no one else knows how it feels. We’re positive putting out and vomiting epically will put us on the fast track, and that’s why, despite the tearful make-ups and college acceptance letters, our mothers stay up all night worrying.

But you know what? All of this nonsense, this malarkey, this angst and rebellion is good for us. It reminds us not to shove that fork in the electrical outlet, not to let that sketchy girl at the end of the bar into our homes. Another crop of pg-13 rated Miley Cyrus pictures seduced their way onto the web today, and surprise surprise the hypocritical sweat oozing off Middle America has been foul and musky.

When I was in high school, I saw naked pictures of random co-eds. Girls I knew, girls I sorta recognized, and girls I’d never seen in person. I saw scantily clad pictures of even more girls, some of them my friends, some of them my buddies’ girlfriends. Sometimes the girls found out, and of course, they cried and screamed and even broke up with their boyfriends over those betrayals of trust, but eventually, they moved on. Some of ’em even laughed about it because as much as every father would like to believe their virginal daughters are behaving saintly---they aren’t. Getting caught with your pants down, with egg on your face and shame in your eyes, is part of growing up. And, believe it or not, Miley Cyrus is just a fifteen year old girl.

Is sending half-naked home movies to your boyfriend a good idea? No. It’s a stupid decision with real consequences. But so is drinking at fifteen. And car surfing. And making out with your best friend’s girlfriend. And cheating on tests. And cutting class. And eating a dozen donuts. And mooning an old woman. We all do stupid things, and we all did stupid things at fifteen. So, get the stick out of your ass and stop judging a silly fifteen year old girl. She needs to grow up, and inappropriate pictures are part of that.

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