Sara Leal, the woman at the heart of the Ashton Kutcher/ Demi Moore break-up rumors is finally speaking out, and her story is as raunchy as it is unintentionally hilarious. Apparently, he just walked up and kissed her. She didn’t object and within a few minutes, they were naked in a hot tub on his balcony alongside a mystery third woman. They all flirted for awhile before Leal and Kutcher headed for his bedroom, had sex and got down to some truly remarkable pillow talk.

According to her story in US Weekly, topics of conversation included love, religion and Rick Perry. That’s right. Rick Perry. She told him she was from Texas. He asked if she was a Republican. She confirmed his hunch, and he asked which candidate she liked. That’s when the Rick Perry pillow talk started. How weirded out is the Presidential candidate going to be when he hears this went down? If there’s one thing he hasn’t campaigned on, I’m pretty sure it’s people getting naked and fornicating minutes after they first met. Then again, this whole story probably is a good anecdote for why all women should get the HPV shot.

Later in the interview, Leal admitted her encounter with Kutcher was completely unprotected, but she also asserted this was her first one night stand and that she didn’t feel self-conscious at all about getting naked with Kutcher moments after meeting him. That strikes me as a bit odd, but I’ll just go ahead and go with it. There’s too many strangely specific details for me to call bullshit on the whole story, but whether or not she fudged a few things to make herself look better is for you to decide.

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