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Now that we’ve ascertained there will be a hockey event on Thanksgiving weekend, it seems only fitting this Weekend Download Recommendations would celebrate the sport in all its musical glory. It would be good fun if we could spend the next few paragraphs dissing on teams employing really crappy music after they score goals- like The Montreal Canadians, whose incessant horn pounding grinds over the strangest discotheque version of U2’s “Vertigo,” reminding me of terrible car crash scene where a body is slumped over the horn, but since hockey and Thanksgiving are tied into the same spirit of goodwill, I will try to avoid further jibes.
This Weekend Download Recommendations celebrates those fuckers who get paid to spend careful time deliberating what song to play when a hockey team scores a goal, who play DJ during time-outs and breaks, and who give the ice girls a reason to shake their bums as they clean up debris. There are as many winners as there are losers. Just note your hockey team is disqualified if it employs one of the following goal songs: “Rock’N Roll Part 2” –excepting New Jersey’s “You Suck” addition - “Song 2,” and “Zombie Nation.” Cheers to those teams who put a little more effort into the good moments.
The Chicago Black Hawks: The Fratellis “Chelsea Dagger”
The Fratellis might be on hiatus, but the band’s catchy “do do do’s” live on in pro football stadiums across the country and especially in hockeyland, where Chicago’s Hawks employ the tune post goals. It’s a fairly recent addition to the arena, but by now it’s about as common as a Toews Jersey in the city. Maybe even more common, and more amusing if you’re a Hawks fan, ‘cause once that song is stuck in your head, there’s no chance it’s coming out. Great for fans, no so much for opponents.
Columbus Blue Jackets: AC/DC “For Those About To Rock”
The Blue Jackets make the list out of sheer capability to confuse. AC/DC? People see that coming. What they don’t see coming is “For Those About to Rock (We Salute You).” “Thunderstruck?” Yeah. “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap?” I could see that. I could even see the slightly racy “Shoot To Thrill.” “For Those About to Rock” is a huge curveball one would assume should only show up at redneck tailgates and UFC fights. Compounding this, there’s the whole live cannon thing. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to quite wrap my mind around it.
Phoenix Coyotes “Howlin for You” The Black Keys
Throwing in whatever animal sound your mascot makes should not work. It should always come across as preposterously as the Florida Panthers mascot roar in the middle of “Zombie Nation.” The Coyotes, on the other hand, know howling would be a little campy, and so they offset it with a Black Keys song that wouldn’t be out of place in an episode of Trueblood. Somehow the song works on the ice, too, thus allowing Phoenix to stand out from the rest of the pack.
Vancouver Canucks: Clutch’s “Electric Worry”
You gotta feel a little bad for the Canucks. The last few years have seen the team roll for a little too long with Greenday’s “Holiday.” At the beginning of the 2011-2012 season, someone realized the team needed a new goal-scoring game plan. They rolled with Locksley’s “The Whip” for a few weeks, until there were enough “Chelseas Dagger” wannabee comments they really needed to move on. Lately they’ve been using Clutch’s “Electric Worry,” an amped up song with a “vomenos vomenos” chant. It’s too early to tell whether this tune will remain a mainstay, but in the meantime, it’s a giant leap in the right direction.
Don Cherry’s Hockey Hits
Don Cherry’s Hockey Hits has a better cover than Jock Jams. There may be no athletes floating in midair, but there is a shot of Don Cherry, looking fierce and pointing at whoever is holding the CD, while his strange little dog hangs out within a hockey monitor. Overall the music selection is pretty good, with some standards (“Tubthumpin,” “We’re Not Gonna Take It”) and a few surprises (“Born Slippy,” “Beautiful People”). The real gem here, however, are five Don Cherry interludes. Who doesn’t enjoy an old curmudgeon who waxes poetic about nothing but old school, tough hockey?
Canada’s Hockey Anthems
It was pretty great – and no surprise at all – to see all of Canada rally together over hockey in the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. It helped Canada came through with the win. If you’d like to relive the great sounds of the Olympics, you should nab Canada’s Hockey Anthems featuring “The Hockey Song” alongside Nickelback, and “Big League” alongside Iron Maiden. Back in the day, you could even get this in a “Limited Gold Edition,” featuring a gold slipcase. That’s how you know it’s quality, folks.
Anaheim Ducks: Pennywise “Bro Hymn”
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