Sponsor
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Film Habit #31 - December 15, 2004 Winter is here, it’s snowing in a few places, so suddenly that means it isn’t mundane and lame to sit around and talk about the weather… I guess. The hot topics on the CB Forum all seem to center around what the current temperature is in whatever part of the world you’re squatting in. No matter how many times the temperature drops, we humans seem to have an infinite capacity to be amazed and surprised by it. Get over the shock and dig out your winter coats. Tut tut, it looks like snow… except in Texas where it looks like I may need my Speedo next week. Team Zissou really has the right answer for the discerning Texan. Wear the beanie and the Speedo simultaneously, thus preparing yourself for any possible Texas extreme.
me with the time and temperature. Perfect Ten  This week began the flood of ceremonial, end of year wrap up listing that should carry on through right up until the Oscars are out of the way. I don’t know why, but it bugs me to see people putting their year end lists out before the year is even over. It’s almost like bragging that you’re so important that you’ve seen every movie of 2004 before they’ve all even been released. I don’t really have a problem with bragging, but I find it hard to believe that there’s not at least one or two more movies those people couldn’t fit in before 2004 is over. Even Roger Ebert doesn’t see EVERY movie release, though he gets pretty damn close.
But it’s all a race to see who can get their lists out first, and as usual it’s the critics in New York and LA who win. They have access to anything and everything weeks before the rest of us get to it, so their lists are out first, they get all the big publicity, and they also continue to get all the plumb early screenings that enable them to continue the process next year. So they’re all touting Million Dollar Baby while the poor critics mucking around here with me in Dallas won’t have their first opportunity to see it until later this week. Those of us not comfortably ensconced in the warm, bosom like glow of the studio promotional machine on the nation’s two coasts will be compiling our lists after January 1, which I guess makes us irrelevant. Of course why even bother with lists at all if we’re going to herald bad movies. Birth is actually winning awards nominations. If that doesn’t tell you something’s wrong with the process, nothing will. The current theory on the CB Forum is that after awarding a big budget fantasy film last year, everyone has to get down to promoting extreme indie-film garbage, which I guess explains why a snooty pseudo-comedy about buddies drinking wine is getting so much overrated buzz. How many good jokes do you know about Merlot? me with your Merlot jokes. Screener Scramble  It’s awards voting season, and that means my mailbox is flooded with screeners from needy films craving critical validation. I’m still somewhat shocked to think that anyone cares about being validated by me. As of last Friday though, the influx of screeners officially outpaced my ability to watch them. I realized I was losing the battle when a big box arrived via UPS containing nothing but screener DVDs and accompanying letters threatening to send me to jail if I let anyone else see them. So next to my TV now stands a HUGE stack of movies, flicks like The Manchurian Candidate, A Very Long Engagement, Shaun of the Dead, and The Sea Inside all begging for my attention. Unfortunately for them, on the very top of that stack is the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King Extended Edition, and it’s not likely to lose it’s place.
Still, I watched what I could this week; which meant you all got a glowing review of Wes Anderson’s worst film since Bottle Rocket, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Wes Anderson’s third best film is light years better than most, so that’s not such a bad place to be. It also means I squeezed in another viewing of Fahrenheit 9/11, a film which I saw in theaters only at the tail end of its release and even then only out of some weird sense of obligation that I felt. It took me so long to get around to seeing it, that the movie was never reviewed, so now in a post-election environment it seemed like a good time to give it another look. It still sucks.  Whether or not you agree with Michael Moore’s politics is irrelevant, Fahrenheit 9/11 is just flat out bad filmmaking. It’s blatant pandering to people with a certain point of view, layered with cheesy, overly melodramatic voiceovers and trumped up fear-mongering. Even as base, despicable propaganda it’s not very good, since the propaganda is so thinly veiled I can’t see any way it could possibly be effective. Moore’s incessant droning drove me to fits of irritation, and his jokes, when he attempts them, are lame, his wit dulled and irrefutably ineffective. Whether or not I like him, I’ve always thought of Moore as a pretty sharp, quick-tongued guy. At the very least I’ve always considered him good at getting out his point of view. In Fahrenheit 9/11 he doesn’t manage that, in fact he likely only hurt his cause. The people lavishing this film with praise are loving it only because they like their own viewpoints to be validated. We all do. I’m no different, and while I enjoyed being tickled by Moore when he said something I agreed with, you’ve got to wake up and see through the disguise. Fahrenheit 9/11 is a sham of a documentary and just a flat out crappy film. Forget the politics, just look at the filmmaking. Maybe now in a world where the political grandstanding in it has for the most part become irrelevant, people will be able to look at it objectively and see it for what it really is: A pathetic cry for attention.
me with political blabber. No Postage Needed  Guided by the spirit of the small Asian woman to your left (who I really need to replace with something more snazzy), I answer reader mail. It’s new, it’s innovative, and no doubt this idea will be ripped off by thousands of copycats, like that hack David Letterman. your comments to have them read on the… er answered here. Let’s see what you folks have to say this week: Cindy: yeagh just a little a fyi on my email last week. The official title of the friend of a friend I mentioned is my mom's, bosses, daughters, brother in-law who I'm not even completly sure my mom's boss has ever met or even her daughter for that matter. Also he's not the head weta works, but the head on the chronicles of narnia film. So given the obscurity of the realtionship, the people I'm connected through and the fact that people don't usually talk with their in-laws when there working in different countries I'd say that it's probably makes senses I haven't heard anything. Dam its a shame that niether my mom, her boss or her daughter are internet geeks. Josh: I’m not exactly sure what it means to be the head of the Chronicles of Narnia film. Does that mean he’s the director? Also, can your obscure relationship with him provide his number for prank calls? Either way, I’d say you’re pretty lucky your mom isn’t an internet geek. That gives you at least some chance of being cool. Haralambos: one correction to your review of the trailer, where you say.... [snip] ...though he does end up hanging from a ceiling in full cape and cowl upside down… Spider-Man style. [snip] Batman has been doing this in the comic series, before Spiderman was even created. So, in reality, it is the other way around actually. Also, if you care to read some of the early comics, you will see that this Bat suit, is in fact a return to the early style & not "Batman Black", as used by directors Tim or that other guy. Neither of these suits is the "normal" Batman suit, from the comic series. If you must offer "criticism," at least become familiar with the textual basis for the movies; otherwise you mislead the many uninformed & annoy those who know. Josh: Dear Hairylegs, I don’t think Batman would mind lending his style to Spider-Man. I’m told they are friends. But if you’re looking for a site that does that kind of detailed research, you better start it yourself because losers like that don’t exist… which is saying a lot when you consider the kind of people who run internet movie sites. Should you start that kind of site, I predict you’ll manage to do one news story a decade, since that’s how long it would take you to read through every Batman comic ever made so you can be sure to understand and capture every nuance and every inference that has ever in any way been attached to the character. You go right on ahead and do that. Till then, hanging upside-down to surprise criminals is Tobey Maguire’s thing. I’m told that we’ll see Batman doing some karate kicks Chuck Norris style in the next trailer. Stay tuned for that. Hey! Do you like writing for mildly successful movie websites with no guarantee that you’ll ever be paid? Are you over 18? You’re in luck. CinemaBlend.com is looking for writers just like you. If you think you can capture the signature Cinema Blend style as a DVD critic and/or BNN reporter send me an with a few samples and we’ll talk. |
     |
