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The Film Habit #37 - February 2, 2005 I’d like to think I do a pretty good job of keeping this column on topic… but I don’t. Let’s face it, The Film Habit often tends to deviate a bit from actual movies. Deal with it. I’m sure there’s a way to tie it into the title if I think about it. Movies come in to play here, but they’re not all FH has to offer. This week, it’s a sloppy, short, lovesick mix.
Blame our DVD Editor Rafe Telsch, who is tying the knot this weekend. As a result, he’ll be off somewhere drinking Mai Tai’s while I struggle to live up to his editorial standards in the DVD section. If the DVD reviews suck next week, it’s a good bet you can trace it back to me. Congratulations Rafe! Now you can hang a really lame sign over your front door that says “The Telschs”. Your name is far too hard to pronounce in the plural. Maybe you should go with “The Rafes”. I’ll have to find a nice punch bowl to send your way. Well not too nice, but maybe something that looks nice, but isn’t. You know, cheap. Who am I kidding, I’m terrible at giving gifts. You’ll just have to be happy with a best wishes bud. Congrats and good luck! me Rafe with wedding gifts. Greeting Cards Grab Groin  Valentine’s Day approaches and along with greeting card companies, florists, and men who dress up in diapers to shoot people with arrows, Hollywood is targeting you. You is anyone with a date Friday night, and yes it even counts if the date is your wife. Especially if it’s your wife. In the offering for moviegoers is Hitch and The Wedding Date. Missing is JLo, and it’s a welcome absence. I assume this is because studios have realized that we all hate her. At least I think so. Where do women stand? Will they miss the JLo rom-com? I’m proud to say that I don’t think my wife will. My Mom on the other hand just loves that Jennifer Lopez. It makes me a little ill.
While I understand the female need to go to the movies and see something gooey (and also terrible), I don’t get this obsession we have with sending greeting cards. Is that really the way you want to say I love you? As a sentiment, they seem like a sham. Some guy in a cubicle wrote something sappy, and now you’re stealing it, giving it to your girlfriend, and pretend that those words reflect how you feel. Am I the only one who finds that a little cold? Empty? Shallow? I mean, you might as well tear a page out of the bible, highlight some passages, and give them to her. I think there’s a few lovely verses in Psalms about the beauty of a woman’s bosom. King David had a thing for breasts. Take her out to dinner, buy her flowers, hire that big fat naked guy to stab her with a dart, and if you must go see that horrible wedding movie with Deborah Messing. But greeting cards? Come on men, we can do better. That’s an industry whose welcome has been worn out. Grab a postcard and write something on the back of it. It doesn’t have to be genius, but even a simple “I love you” means a hell of a lot more than some quote from Maya Angelou. At least the words are actually from you. You’ve got two weeks, start writing. Let’s put Hallmark out of business. to offer me a job writing glib greeting card quotes. Self Spamming  Oscar Chat 4 is building steam, so if you haven’t figured out what it is by now, then you really don’t visit this site. But, in case you’re behind the curve, it’s our annual chat event where we all sit around in varying states of nakedness or clothedness and watch the Oscars together. If you hate them, you can come and make fun of them, if you like them, you can come and engage in serious Oscar discussion. Whatever your opinion of the Academy, it’s the place to be. Click here for full details.
Right now I’m playing CB budget polo to see what I can offer up to attendees in the way of prizes. So far, minimum we’ll have a couple of t-shirts and a DVD or two. If we’re lucky, maybe the DVD’s won’t be a copy of the latest Hillary Duff movie. The point of all this is of course to spam for it yet again. It also seems like a good place to mention the newly created Oscar Chat 4 T-Shirt, a blending of perfect craftsmanship, German engineering, and Matt Sinopoli graphic wisdom. You know you want one. Click here to make sure you’re properly attired. They can’t get any cheaper. I’ve effectively removed any possible profit from the price. me to find your way into the Oscar Chat 4 Memorial Hot Tub. Cinema Blend’s Big Superbowl Coverage The Superbowl is this weekend. Christ I miss Hockey. me with your thoughts on the NHL strike. Letters From Close Enough to the Edge to See the View But Not So Close That There is Danger of Falling Off  Guided by the spirit of the small Asian woman to your left (who I really need to replace with something more snazzy), I answer reader mail. It’s new, it’s innovative, and no doubt this idea will be ripped off by thousands of copycats, like that hack David Letterman. your comments to have them read on the… er answered here. Let’s see what you folks have to say this week: Cliff: (whether or not this account is true is questionable but nonetheless good fodder for CB) Behind the Scenes: Uwe Boll and Uwe Boll's "Alone In the Dark" http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2649 Josh: Now that I’ve successfully avoided the movie I’m going to try to successfully avoid reading anything about making it. Forte: How're you doing? Bedkee yertam hima Josh: No I will not go out with you and I will not take you to my leader. I’m very disappointed in the quality of reader mail this week. Go back, try sending me something entirely in English, and then maybe you can buy me a drink. Hey! Do you like writing for mildly successful movie websites with no guarantee that you’ll ever be paid? Are you over 18? You’re in luck. CinemaBlend.com is looking for writers just like you. If you think you can capture the signature Cinema Blend style as a DVD critic and/or BNN reporter send me an with a few samples and we’ll talk. |
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