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The Film Habit #46 - April 27, 2005 I’m back. Not that I went anywhere last week, I just didn’t get to this. My regularity may become a much less predictable factor in the future, as I load myself down with more and more writing work while trying to keep up with my ever present, soul-sucking day job. What, you think writers make bank? Unless you’re Harry Knowles, I haven’t seen it. My only hope is to so excessively pad my resume with credits that I can smack him upside the head with it and then run away with his wallet.
Until then, I’ll be working for so close to free that it might as well be. God I want to sell out. Instead, in the coming week expect great things from Cinema Blend… like my review of Star Wars: Episode III and more of our ongoing Tribeca 2005 coverage. And if you haven’t been listening to it already, don’t miss Rafe’s new podcast. me to suggest acoustical improvements to our shark. Word Jacking We’ve been robbed. It’s not the first time, and it probably won’t be the last, but it’s always galling to discover a website copy/pasting your reviews onto their pages and claiming them as their own. What’s even more head bursting is getting a response like this when you send the scumbag thief an angry, protest letter: “Thank you for your email, for future reference it is surprising just how far a little bit of politeness and curtesy will get you.”  Politeness? If you walked out into your driveway and saw a guy breaking in to your Honda Civic, would you politely ask him to please stop trying to steal your fuel efficient, economy sized automobile? It’s bad enough to have your words stolen, ripped away from you, and used for someone else’s self-serving profit, but to have them suggest you should be polite to them about it is beyond the realm of my tolerance. But perhaps the most frustrating thing is the absolute impotence I’m left with. What am I going to do about it? Hire a lawyer? Post a link here and ask you all to send them angry letters? That’d just give them exposure. The really frustrating thing about Copyrights is that there’s no decent way to enforce them without a bevy of corporately funded attorneys and no proper way to protect what you’ve written. At least we’re just writing relatively unimportant movie-mumbling. Imagine if we wrote something important.
me to rat out thieves. How Josh Spent An Hour In Austin And Didn’t Meet  Someone Important But Might Have Sat Near HimIt’s no secret that I love the heck out of Austin. Given the choice, that’s where I’d rather be. I’m in Dallas because I have to be, but the four years I lived in Austin were enough to get me hooked. It’s my favorite city, and I never pass up an opportunity to stop over there. This Sunday, returning from a jaunt to the bed and breakfast capital of Texas, Fredericksburg, I convinced the wife to make a pit stop in Austin for a late lunch at my favorite restaurant on the planet. It’s not that Trudy’s North Star is all that spectacular. It fits in well enough into the Applebee’s/Chile’s/TGI Friday’s genre. But it’s an Austin original, and that makes it something more. The drinks are out of this world and the food, while nothing particularly special is tasty in all the right places. What really makes the place though is the clientele: a mix of families, gay and lesbian couples, and typical Austinites. For the un-iniated, Austinite is code for “oddball” and if you live there you love it. It’s a great place to sit and people watch, with the restaurant set up in a sort of semi-circle with a pit in the middle. If you sit on the edges you can watch the entire place, and it’s great. It’s comfortable, and sitting in there again felt like going home. From my chair in the corner facing the rest of the restaurant (my wife loves to sit facing the wall… good for my people watching habit) I noticed someone oddly familiar the next table over. He was dressed in a stock Austin geek uniform: Well-worn baseball cap, nerd glasses, faded t-shirt, shorts, and of course flip-flops; and he was reading out loud what sounded like a movie script.  Here’s where I get to the point of all this rambling: I’m a gigantic wuss. I stop for one hour in Austin and end up sitting five feet from a guy obviously working in the film industry and never had the guts to ask him who the heck he was. That sort of thing never happens in Dallas. Dallas film culture is dead. I know I’ve seen his face, but can’t place him. Judging from what I overheard of the heavy conversation, he’s either a director or a producer, and he’s making a really crappy movie. I know it’s crappy because even he thought it was. As he put it “I bought the script because it’s well put together, but honestly haven’t you heard this story a thousand times before?” When the waiter came by and asked if they were working on a play, he told them it was a movie and they’d only put in two weeks of work on it. When the waiter left, he leaned over to the guy next to him and under his breather muttered “I should have asked him ‘Don’t you know who I am?’”. Maybe I should have asked who he was, so I can stop wracking my brain trying to remember. But then there’s the old wuss thing again.
Whatever it was he was making, it starts with a sniper in a field and at some point morphs into a Kung Fu movie comparable to Bullet Proof Monk. This story is going nowhere and I’m no longer making any sense. If you take anything away from this, let it serve as another random example of why Austin rocks and I most certainly do not. Keep an eye out for a Kung Fu sniper movie that takes place in cotton field in theaters near you and expect more vague film-related news reports the next time I escape Dallas to go people watching in Austin. Keep it weird. me to ask what the heck this Film Habit was about. Then I’ll respond with a hearty “hell if I know” and we’ll all move on as friends. Hot Mail  Guided by the spirit of the hot male to your left (who really ought to do a lot to draw in the ladies), I answer reader mail your comments to have them read on the… answered here. Let’s see what you folks have to say this week: cristian: please send me more data about star wars. Josh: Turn on your computer. More Star Wars data found. Joseph Rzotkiewicz :"Edison Mug Shots" review from April 5, 2005. I like the pictures of the cast. Especially the one of Piper Perabo. She is a terrific actress. I like the part where you said it sounds a like a combo of The Pelican Brief and an episode of "Law and Order". My opinion it is probably also a combo of Spaceballs, even though this movie is not a comedy. I read the script review of Edison at UGO.com and some of the parts remind me of Spaceballs. Thanks so much for your time. P.S. This movie would have also been perfect for James Caan. Josh: That was a news story, but I’ll let it go since you love us. So the movie is not a comedy, is not set in space and does not feature a Mog. Where’s the similarity? I hear Justin Timberlake gives good helmet. Kamil: I'd just like to express my disgust at how insulting I've found your preview to Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven. The following extract, which is credited as YOUR work reads as follows: "Orlando Bloom stars in Ridley Scott's next project as a young blacksmith who follows a knight on the Crusades to Jerusalem. There, he rises to protect his people from invaders... mostly dirty muslims. Orlando Bloom actually looks sort of manly. No mean feat. Bring on the infidels. " Your description of Muslims as "dirty" & "infidels" is most disheartening especially since I am a regular reader of the site. It didn't even seem like you were refering to the film since there are no shots of "dirty " mulisms to be found. This kind of insensitive and frankly idiotic behaviour is highly unprofessional journalism on your part and gives a seriously bad impression of your credibility as a writer. I would appreciate an explanation, and I do hope this is merely a misunderstanding. Josh: Why do you assume that by “infidels” I’m referring to Muslims? I could just as easily have been referring to the knights. Sounds like you have issues. Why do you think Muslims are infidels? I find that extremely offensive. You are hereby forbidden from reading the site. We don’t want your kind here. By your kind I mean clueless, humorless readers. Might I direct you to SeanPenn.net? CinemaBlend.com embraces the Muslim people… the ones without bombs. Similarly, we also embrace the Anglo… the ones without sniper-scope hunting rifles. What’s with the camouflage people? Don’t take the term “urban jungle” so seriously. Cartel: I found Cinema Blend a while ago and read the most honest, witty and hysterical review I ever read. I was luaghing with what you guys said about AVP and Alexander. I read reviews on Cinema Blend ever since than. They are really good reviews that actually talk about the good points and bad points in words that a viewer would use. Its a tough job watching terrible movies, but it leads to great reviews of witty sarcasm and honesty that will make you luagh your socks off. Josh: Thanks for balancing out the universe Cartel. Good luck running drugs. Give me a call if you ever need a mule, I know a few people I’d like to recommend. Hey! Do you like writing for mildly successful movie websites with no guarantee that you’ll ever be paid? Are you over 18? You’re in luck. CinemaBlend.com is looking for writers just like you. If you think you can capture the signature Cinema Blend style as a critic and/or BNN reporter send me an with a few samples and we’ll talk. |
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