The Film Habit #57

Since Halloween is approaching, and some of you are really into that (Come on people grow up, it's a holiday for kids!), we'll waste this column on things that go bump (but not too bump) in the night. But if one more person tries to force me to participate in some horrible ritual of crappy costuming, I can't be held responsible for my reaction. No, I am not dressing up as a wookie.

Tis the season to be spooky, and folks are running out and looking for things to scare themselves silly. But what if you're looking to get in the Halloween spirit, but don't much care for being afraid to sleep without a nightlight? It's ok, you're a horror wimp. There are days when I'm right there with you. What's the obsession with excessive gore and projectile vomiting? If you're looking to get in the spirit of things, but don't want to wet your pants, here's a few Halloween movie recommendations that horror wimps can handle:

Halloween for Horror Wimps

With Tim Burton's adequate stop-motion movie Corpse Bride busy wowing no one in theaters, it seems appropriate to get started with Burton's better piece of claymation spookiness, The Nightmare Before Christmas. Is it a Christmas movie or a Halloween movie? I'm not sure I know. But this one's the classic Corpse Bride wishes it could have been. The music will have your toes tapping, and the specially delivered severed heads will get you in a ghoulish state of mind.

Alfred Hitchcock is the original master of terror. No gratuitous gore in his films, he'd rather get inside your head and drive you flat out batty. But for the horror wimp, Psycho is probably too much to handle. Consider watching Rear Window instead. In addition to being scary but not-to-scary, it's probably Hitchcock's greatest film. Watch Jimmy Stuart watch his neighbors in Alfred's original nosey neighbor thriller.

Ghost's don't have to be scary, sometimes they're sexy in tight, tight pants. Get all romantic and weepy by watching Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze in Ghost. Halloween isn't just about blackmailing people into giving you stuff, sometimes it's also about love. But mostly it's about free stuff.

You're not ready for Bram Stoker's, so step back to Anne Rice's gothic vampire vision of hot celebrities with dripping fangs, Interview With the Vampire. It's still my vampire tale of choice, though it's not necessarily the scariest. It may not be as terrifying as other more gritty takes on blood-sucking characters, but it's filled with just the right number of edge-of-your-seat moments. You can handle it.

Alright, Interview was pretty scary and freaky Kirsten Dunst has you a little spooked. Re-affirm your mastery over vampires, monsters, and poltergeists with Ivan Reitman's quintessential 80's comedy Ghost Busters. It's almost more of a themesong than it is a movie, but there was a time when Dan Akyrod had something. Say it with me now: I ain't afraid of no ghost!

Classic monster movies were legitimate frighteners back in their time, but by today's standards they look too cheesy to get much of a rise. Though film buffs love to laud them, the original Wolfman, Frankenstein, and Dracula just don't hold up. Instead, get your classic monster movie fix alongside the greatness of Abbott & Costello in Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein. It suffers from the same dated effects as those more serious monster movie classics, but Bud and Lou's perfect comic timing makes them a little easier to overlook. This one's timeless.

Stay away from M. Night's The Sixth Sense if you're not looking for ghostly nightmares. Go for his alien thriller Signs instead. Signs has it's creepier than hell moments, but you won't spend too many sleepless nights wondering if there are aliens on your roof. Still, when the moon comes through the trees just right… sometimes I think there's a not-quite-human shadow on my roof.

Wrap up your Halloween movie viewing by sticking it to the entire genre with the complete collection of The Simpson's scary movie parodies in their yearly staple "The Treehouse of Horror". It's a travesty that they're not all on DVD in a single, comprehensive box set yet, but you can find Treehouse of Horror's V, VI, VII, and XII in a single, Treehouse of Horror collection. Luckily, these are the best of the lot, and the include the essential Simpson's parody of The Shining. No TV no beer make Homer…something something.

Reach Out and Touch Me

And now for the only thing you people really care about… yourselves! We get e-mail, here's some of it. Not all of it of course! My inbox is so full... aw who am I kidding, we're not that popular. This is all of it. I've revamped the email section a little, brought in Shatner to straighten things out. Who better than the Captain?

me or I'll come up with my own content.

Josh's History of Violence Review Clint: I want to express to you that I've never read a review that hit so dead on with my personal ideas and opinions. Although I know nothing of the director, I saw much talent in the movie, but felt it was ridiculous and your description of a man who is out of touch with a normal life seems to be the fitting piece of the movies problem. I thought you were a little harsh on the young girl, the only thing that really stuck me as bad acting was the nightmare scene. (the scene where all the family members go to comfort the young girl and it has a very Full House feel to it) Basically I want to say this: I felt all these ideas that were in your review, but after I actually read it these feelings became solidified thoughts and something I can express to others. Starting now I will be reading your review for every movie I see and hopefully we'll see many other movies in the same way. Josh: Thanks for the accolades Clint. Child actors are a very hit and miss thing. I think she was a big miss, and I hope we don't see her in anything else. She worked best when she wasn't talking… or when she was being jammed in a to-small car seat.
Having Babies With Usher ANDREA BELLOTTI: HELLO THIS IS ANDREA BELLOTTI I JUST WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE NEW MOVIE IS COMING OUT REAL SOON OK, AND ALSO I KNOW USHER IS IN IT DO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH USHER BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK TO HIM OK, AND I WANT HIS E-MAIL AND PHONE NUMBER OK, BECAUSE IN SCHOOL TODAY I WAS WATCH ABOUT USHER IN THE NEW MOVIE OF IN THE MIX RIGHT AND AND HE IS SO COOL OK, JUST WRITE ME BACK WHEN YOU GUYS GET THIS LETTER OK BY ANDREA BELLOTTI Josh: Hello, this is Joshua Tyler. Here's my internet tip of the day: Internet geeks, of which I am one, consider the excessive use of CAPITAL LETTERS TO BE SHOUTING. Please cut it out. Because you were rude, when I'm hanging out with Usher next weekend I'm going to do nothing but trash you to him. Now you'll never convince him to have meaningless sex with you, allowing you to trick him into conceiving a child with you, and thus making you filthy stinking rich. Instead, I'm gonna have his baby and when I do you won't be invited over for dinner. Maybe for a pool party though.
Josh Knows Jack About Lincoln ConFed: After reading this asinine article by Joshua Tyler (Qui-Gon Lincoln, Jan. 12, 2005) it is obvious that this idiot knows nothing about history, or the dirt bag that was Lincoln. Lincoln did not free a single slave in his entire life, and to top it off Lincoln's wife owned slaves, as did Grant. Lincoln was also a racist who made such remarks such as. "I will say, then, that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races -- that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races from living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I as much as any other man, am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race." So please tell this idiot Tyler to learn some facts and keep his asinine opinions to himself! Josh: You realize he's dead right? I mean he's not president anymore. You don't have to worry about him enslaving you. You're safe from him I promise. George Bush on the other hand… Look, I say a lot of wacky far out things on this site, but I think for ONCE I'm pretty safe in making the offhand Lincoln freed the slaves comment. I can't be expected to cater to every wacko, lunatic, fringe extremist out there… of which you are one. And by the way, I even addressed you nutso, mentally ill types in the article: "Some people are of the opinion that the slave freeing was completely incidental..." That's how cool I am. So I'm curious… do you just spend your days surfing the internet looking for people who say Lincoln freed slaves and then send them nasty, poorly thought out emails? Because really, you've gotta be terribly busy. You'll never get to all of us. Can't fight the Lincoln. He's got good PR.
First Daughter Soundtrack Wanda: Hi. I was going to go buy the sountrack for this movie and found out there wasn't one to buy. It is unbelievable. They make a soundtrack to just about every movie. I was just wondering if you knew if someone was going to make one, and when it would possibly be out. Thank you. Josh: Well, I didn't see the film Wanda, but I know it did rather poorly at the theater. Most people didn't take much notice of it. So if the soundtrack isn't out there already, it probably won't be. You're not alone though, there are a lot of others looking for one. You might try just getting the songs individually. I've dug up a track list for you. Give this a go: "Make a Wish" - Performed by David Elliott, "Thought I'd Seen It All" - Performed by Damon Elliott, "Dance with Me" - Performed by Melissa Jimenez, "Fall" - Performed by Joanna, "Free" - Performed by Lucy Woodward, "Off My Chest" - Performed by Whitey and Dina Rae, "Sway" - Performed by Matt Dusk, "The Way You Look Tonight" -Performed by Matt Dusk, "Ballroom Bossa" - Performed by Margeaux Fernandez and Damon Elliott, "You 'n Mego" - Performed by Macy Gray, "Oooops" - Performed by Alsou, "Whatever" - Performed by Buttah and Kristina Allison, "Sea of Dreams" - Performed by Joanna, "Dance My Dreams (Theme Song from First Daughter)" - Performed by Tamia
Halle Berry Campaigns to Stop Our Coverage of X3! Caliph Morgan: I just wanted to write in and say how poor your coverage of X-Men 3 has been so far. 90% of it has been focused on fomenting bad buzz based on sheer bias and little fact. For example, it's pathetic that at every opportunity your site has bashed Academy Award Winner Halle Berry as if she is singlehandedly running the show on that production. This constant whining from Lexi Feinberg betrays a lack of understanding of how movie productions work. It also reveals that he/she knows very little about the X-Men mythos, and that Storm is arguably Marvel's most popular and recognizable heroine. Unlike Lexi Feinberg, Halle Berry understands this apparently, hence her fight for better character development. As one who is following this production very closely at Superherohype.com it is blatantly clear to me that many of the characters in this film will serve background purposes, as this cast is literally no larger than the one that X2 boasted. Will you have the courage and humility to retract your presumptuous statements if and when your prophecies of doom and gloom (not to mention your nagging rants about Berry) proves to be for nothing? All I'm saying is please get your facts straight and be a bit more objective with your reports. Perhaps then fans like myself will take your site a bit more seriously. Josh: If only Fox wasn't making the job of fomenting bad buzz for the film so damn easy. All we have to do is turn on the CB Computer and copy/paste! It's sickening. Frankly, we like a little more challenge in our news reporting. Covering the disaster of X3 is becoming a little monotonous. For the record, nothing on this site is objective. We're opinionated, up front, honest, and often goddamn hilarious. So stick to Superherohype, you won't find anything like that there. Go back to your master Halle Berry and tell her Cinema Blend won't bow to her pressure! She can't stop us. Your attitude is the worst sort of fanboyism. It's the sort of thing we've been seeing from Joss Whedon's Browncoats in recent weeks. Luckily, when it comes to X-Men fans, you're the exception rather than the rule. Most of the X-Men fanbase is nothing like you. They're a much savvier bunch, and they like us are pretty worried about what Halle Berry is doing to this film. Pull off your blinders and you will be too. It might help if you read more than one of our X3 news stories before you emailed us. Lexi's constant whining on the subject all occurs in the sum total of one, very short article amidst about twenty or so in our news database. Most of the justified whining comes directly from me. Please don't take me seriously. In fact don't take me at all. You're officially forbidden to read the site.
Abbey Healey's Agent Is Overpaid Florrie: ABBEY HEALEY, ACTRESS,MODEL IN HOLLYWOOD PLAYS UNCREDITED HORSE BUYER IN DREAMER-------------SEEN IN HOLLYWOOD WITH MAJOR PLAYERS IN THE PAST FEW MONTHS. SHE WILL BE THE NEXT HUGE ACTRESS AND MODEL IN LA. Josh: Whatever she's paying you, it's too much.
Scott Gwin Drinks Caffeine Will: Regarding Scott's article here. The Mormon pioneers were a people who had to abandon everything they had just to escape persecution and be able to practice their religion in a country that supposedly had "freedom of religion". Americans should be embarrassed of the treatment that the Mormons received while they were in Missouri during this time. While the acting and the trailer for this movie might not be up to par with the rest of the Hollywood sleaze that your used to critiquing, its a true story in American History that can not be looked over or degraded by people like you. Josh: People like me can degrade it. Look, I'm doing it right now! That's the thing that makes the country whose history you're so high on great. You're probably busy worshipping American Jesus and avoiding the wonders of caffeine, but maybe you should stop holier-than-thouing a minute and think about that.
Josh Reviews Elizabethtown Frances:After seeing Elizabethtown yesterday and being that I live in Elizabethtown and did watch some of the filming here, I wanted to thank you for your positive review of the movie. Your impressions were similar to mine. I read you after seeing the movie and after reading many negative reviews, so finding someone other than myself who found it uplifing was refreshing. It was a very heartfelt sweet movie, with so many subtle and deeper meanings present, that I guess other reviewers could not appreciate those qualities, perhaps because they never experienced any of the little snapshots of life that were shown.. Sorry that so many feel that way, because, unfortuately many people base their viewing of a movie on what they see in the paper and on tv. I did not like "Forrest Gump", too cliched, too preditable and too improbable to be believed , and yet it won 6 academy awards. The reviewers looked at that movie and directed their comments to the "depth of meaning" and " subtle" messages, but seem to ignore that here. The Orlando Bloom I saw here was the Orlando Bloom I saw in the movie. According to a review I saw in the "Telegraph" from London, one of the reasons for Cameron Crow to picked Orlando was because he did show many of the same qualities as the character he wanted to portray and that Orlando made me believe he was from the USA was all the more to see the talent he has. Kirsten Dunst was unpredictable. That made her fun to watch to see how she dealt with the different situations in her dialog. It was a sweet, fun movie and I am glad I had a little connection to it. Thank you again for seeing the movie my way and what I think Cameron Crowe was hoping to convey. Definitely, better than most of the movies that make it to the theaters these days. The music I enjoyed as well, even though I am a classical buff. I could go on and on on other pluses, but this is enough. Thanks for liking it. Josh: Thanks for liking us Frances! A lot of times people only make the effort to respond to something when they're pissed off, so it's always special when we get a nice email like yours. It is a shame that the movie is getting so many bad reviews, because I'm afraid it's going to keep audiences that might enjoy it away from it. Look, the negative reviews of the movie are legitimate, and the critics bashing it are correct… from a certain point of view. But their point of view is not one I, or most movie-going audiences share. There's a disconnect there, maybe one the journalistic community should think about fixing.
Dirty Thieves Kevin: I recently came to this Cinema Blend after being directed by a friend. What I found was shock. I’d heard before from people at CHUD that you used to visit their boards, and subsequently left to start a site ripping them off, but I didn’t realize how true it was. Your place is a wholesale rip off of CHUD and their style. You should be ashamed. Cum up with your own ideas and quit ripping off CHUD. You will never been Nick or be takent seriously. Josh: Let me preface my response by saying I have absolutely no problem with the guys at CHUD, and I suspect that whoever you are, you’re in no way associated with them. They’ve got better things to do. CHUD’s a great site, one I used to visit occasionally (I surf a lot of sites folks, it’s an essential part of keeping in touch with what’s going on in the little community we’re pseudo-members of.) long after I’d already been running Cinema Blend for years. They do great work, and though we have absolutely no relationship with them, I’ve got no beef with them either. As far as I know, they have no problem with us, and if they did I doubt they’d need you to fight their battles for them Kev. CHUD’s Devin Faraci, though I almost never agree with anything he says, is pound for pound one of the most talented writers on the internet. If he wanted to eviscerate us, he’d probably do a handier job of it than you. That said, you’re going to have to explain what we’re doing to rip them off, because we couldn’t possibly be more different. Do they have typo issues? If so, I think they’re ripping off us. Granted, it’s been awhile since I’ve really delved very deeply into their content, but last time I checked it was all filled with funny pop-culture references… something which we lack the talent to pull off. We don’t even have the same focus as them. They’re more news-driven, we’re review-driven. Is it because our news items are more opinion driven than fact driven? I doubt CHUD would claim to have invented that. Granted, in the past year I’ve grown a goatee, but it’s no match for Nick Nunziata’s full-on man beard. I’ll have to keep working on it. Point out the similarities, because I don’t see them. So consider this. If they have a problem with us, why don’t you let them talk to us about it themselves, instead of appointing yourself their content police. Meanwhile, stay at CHUD, we don’t want you. They’re good people, but I’m content to let them do their thing while we do ours. I couldn’t be happier that we’re completely different. It’s funny, Rafe and I were talking about this the other day, about how it seems so difficult for these scattered movie sites to get along. We tend to just mind our own business, and save our contact with other websites for things like taking jabs at John Campea’s mother (Note to John: Rafe’s podcast isn’t little, it’s succinct). Like my wife he’s Canadian, and they usually come equipped with a sense of humor. That’s how the little woman puts up with me. But sometimes it seems like we’re all spoiling for a fight, rather than keeping things in perspective. It doesn’t help to have little pissants like Kevin running around trying to start controversy where there is none. I suggested to Rafe that maybe it has a little something to do with the nature of exactly what it is we’re doing. I mean, think about it: What kind of arrogance does it take to throw your opinion out there and expect other people to care about reading it? I submit that we’re probably all a little messed up in the head to begin with. Though I’ve yet to detect my ego (I think you need talent first), it makes sense that personalities like that might clash. Personally, I’m all about avoiding conflict. Cinema Blend is perfectly happy to steer its own, quiet course. We’ve got better things to waste our time on than being petty. I guess it helps that we assume right from the start that no one cares about what we’re writing anyway, even if we do.
Love Us Forever Fatima: I've visited movie websites in the past, but Cinema Blend is my favorite. Lexi's writings are great! I also like listening to Rafe's audio files. Reader for life! Josh: Thanks Fatima. It's always nice to get a few good vibes, even if you failed to mention how sexy my goatee is. I'm going to have to start posting more glamour shots.

Hey! Do you like writing for mildly successful movie websites with no guarantee that you'll ever be paid? Are you over 18? You're in luck. CinemaBlend.com is looking for writers just like you. If you think you can capture the signature Cinema Blend style as a critic, interviewer, and/or news reporter send me an with a few samples and we'll talk.

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