"Are you someone?" -- wimmins' books . . .

[Cogito]

Having drawn cartoons for most of my life, and generally been involved in that world, I noticed something about female cartoonists: They have only one thing on their minds: Relationships. OK, be fair, relationships, and diets -- of course, those diets are merely something engaged in, in order to find the perfect relationship...

Seriously, it's like 95% of female cartoonists strips are mutations of The Diary of Bridget Jones (or whatever that film was called).

Granted, some of the strips are good -- I forget the name of one in particular, a French one, which was truly insightful and funny and sharp and just damn clever. But most are just plain stupid, and dull, dull, dull. There are plenty of cartoon strips out there that share that quality, so that doesn't bug me so much -- what boggles my mind is that so many female cartoonists can find nothing else to think of other than -- well -- men.

The book "Are you someone?" is like this -- except it observes this very very fact, and the fallacy of such behavior. I'd never pick the book up, seing that it's a typical "woman's book" -- probably on Oprah's book list for all I know, if the book is known at all over here. The book is Irish, and I simply bought it because I lived in Dublin for half a year, and Ireland is a wonderful place.

Ireland has also had a very unusual culture -- obviously part of it has been deeply tragic, especially for women. There's a new film (I forget the name) out that describes how some young girls were handed over to nuns who treated them no better than slaves -- women who are alive today. The catholic's church strong influence has made abortions illegal, forcing young women to travel to England for abortions, making the trauma that much worse, and more costly.

The book "Are you someone?" describes such a woman's life -- "The accidental diary of a Dublin woman" is the subtitle.

As you can tell, I don't particuarly like such stories :) but this one, I do like.

Because the author comes to a conclusion: this obsession about relationships is nonsense. In the book, she finds herself worn out, broken down, middle aged, with no children, and no relationship. She thinks of herself as a failure, and observes her life. I'm not giving anything away here -- this is all described early on, btw. She also describes how Irish society treats women, and the basic tragedy it is, to think of oneself only in terms of marriage and child rearing.

American society is nowhere close to what Ireland was -- and Ireland itself isn't like that anymore.

But I think some of the things described in this book exists in all societies. And I can see some of this type of behavior reflected in women I know, who'll describe the passage of time through their lives, not in terms of world events, or what job they held, or what movies were in the theatres, but always, inevitably, in terms of who they were with at the time.

"Are you someone?" is a great book.

[Josh]

That sounds well... interesting. I'd be surprised if most women wouldn't find the concept a bit irritating though.

There are indeed far to many Cathy cartoons if you ask me. :p

[Brynn]

The book, according to the web and all of the book suppliers, is called "Are You Somebody", not "...Someone".

"As you can tell, I don't particularly like such stories but this one, I do like. "

No, what I can tell is that you don't like women, or 'wimmin' as you call them, very much and that you haven't taken the time to get to know or understand them. Instead, you would rather stereotype. Take into consideration that even up through my own mother's youth, women had very few choices. They could become nurses, teachers, hairdressers, or married with children. Most of our mothers still think like that and the idea of relationships have been drummed into our heads from society (in the form of fairy tales, other literature, films, etc.) and our parents since we were little girls. It takes a very brave and strong women to step away from that and break free. Hopefully, the parents of little girls now won't train their children into thinking that way.

[Arctic]

There's a new film (I forget the name) out that describes how some young girls were handed over to nuns who treated them no better than slaves The Magdalene Sisters, i believe.

i'm not a big Cathy fan either.

the author comes to a conclusion: this obsession about relationships is nonsense. the more everyone (men and women alike) can get that into their heads, the better i say. there is a basic biological drive for people to constantly think about sex and relationships in their lives. i find men at least as guilty (if not more so) as women of these obsessions.

that doesn't mean this is all people can and should think about however. in fact i think people should strive to think about more than that; to use their minds more in general in order to behave as intelligent beings. unfortunately not everyone recieves the benefits of, or may not appreciate the values of education, for various sociological, economical, and cultural reasons. until the education situation is improved, there will always be people from both sexes and all races and cultures who's minds remain fixated on the more primal instincts.

it's because these instincts are so basic, that cartoonists may jump on them as a common bond with the reader. As Brynn mentioned, the education and even enlightenment of women to their own minds and freedoms has been relatively stunted in most cultures due to cultural and social pressures. many women may still easily identify with cartoons playing on relationship matters. on the opposite side of this coin you have men still looking at women as sex toys. so you have a vicious cycle of sorts. men see an object, women behave as an object, etc. it will take a lot of work on both sides for this cycle to be broken.

anyway, it sounds like an interesting book to me. thanks for bringing it up cogito.

[Cogito]

The book, according to the web and all of the book suppliers, is called "Are You Somebody", not "...Someone".
Ack, yes that should be somebody, not someone. The title comes from a phrase someone approached her with, due to her television appearances: she was recognized, but not quite – ie., are you someone (famous)? But it also meant to signify that in her breakdown and depression of reaching middle age with no family, she still recognized that she really was someone after all. Finally, it was also a counter against the reaction she expected, by those who’d think, well waddaya know, she’ writing an autobiography – who does she think she is?

No, what I can tell is that you don't like women, or 'wimmin' as you call them, very much and that you haven't taken the time to get to know or understand them. Instead, you would rather stereotype.
Whoa, now that’s a bit of a jump to a conclusion to jump to. Although for some reason female cartoonists tend to limit themselves to focusing nearly solely on relationships, I’m by no means saying that all women do so – perhaps I shoulda pointed that out. But yes, I do think this is a negative quality.

What this book does (amongst many things), is to explain why such a mindset exists, and how society and “family values” helps create it. Although it describes Ireland several decades ago, it could just as well apply to the US, of the same time period – and of a lesser extent today. So you may be right that I don’t know or understand, but I did take the time to read this book, and I think it did make me understand this a little better...