Texas Chainsaw Massacre - POST WHEN YOU SEE IT

[B1ade Runner]

<IMG SRC=http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/movie/allposters/153/texaschainsaw_rt.jpg border=1 align=right><FONT COLOR=blue size=4><B>The Texas Chainsaw Massacre</B></FONT>

<B>Release Date:</B> October 17, 2003

<B>Directed By:</B> Marcus Nispel
<B>Written By:</B> Scott Kosar

<B>Cast:</B> Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Eric Balfour, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, Lauren German, R. Lee Ermey,

<B>Plot Outline:</B> On a trip through Texas to Mexico, a group of teens pick up the survivor of a massacre that took place the night before. They detour from their trip to take the girl to the nearest town, where they meet the local sheriff who is hell bent on capturing the girl's attackers. He decides to use the kids as bait to lure the chainsaw wielding maniac Leatherface out from rural Texas so he can put an end to his grisly reign. Unfortunately things don't go as planned, and when the kids' van breaks down at an old slaughterhouse, they are hunted down one by one...

<B><U>Reviews:</U></B>
"When you're remaking one of the greatest Horror films of all time you should at least have the decency to make it suck or rock." - Bryce Wilson, FilmHobbit.com (http://filmhobbit.com/cgi-bin/movies/movies.cgi?action=showreview&review=texaschainsawremake)

<CENTER>DISCUSS IT AFTER YOU SEE IT! Feel Free to talk Spoilers</CENTER>

[Taln Hess]

WTF?

[B1ade Runner]

I accidentally deleted the other post, so I started another one.

[Taln Hess]

Oh... Good job on that.

where they meet the local sheriff who is hell bent on capturing the girl's attackers. He decides to use the kids as bait to lure the chainsaw wielding maniac Leatherface out from rural Texas so he can put an end to his grisly reign. Where the heck do these descriptions come from? Between this and the "cannibalism" in Cabin Fever the descriptions couldn't be more wrong.

[Woobie]

I just saw the Massacre last night before going on a Haunted Hayride. My best review I guess would be that this movie is perfect to get you in that mood. It's a jolter. It scares the same way that Haunted Houses are supposed to scare you. There are plenty of spots in the movie that made the whole theater jump, so for that reason it got its job done. As far as comparing to the original, it really didn't seem like the same movie. I'm not really a big fan of the original, but I understand its importance to the horror genre. It's like understanding what Elvis did for rock&roll but really just not getting into his music. But I admire how it did things. It was a movie that didn't care what the audience expected, it was taking them into a hell and doing it in whatever way it needed to. The new version just seemed like it knew what the audience expected, so it had to deliver exactly that. They lovingly places the grime and gore and blood and ooze everywhere perfectly where it should be to get the right reaction, where as in the original everything seemed to come together on its own. The new one is great for seeing a movie designed to make you jump, but that's about it.

[Taln Hess]

Well, my thoughts on this movie are gone... cache didn't keep it this time... probably since I posted from my work computer instead of home.

[Bordick]

Just got back from seeing this, and........It was ok. I prefer the '74 Hooper version. That's just me. one question, HOw can this be a period flick if like 2 characters are remotely period....1½ really. The Best part about Hooper's was that it just ended abruptly after a ****ed up scene. This had the typical winding down of today's horror movies. It was too "MTV" for my taste. It would be like Remaking Evil Dead and having Freddie Prinze Jr. playing Ash, it just doesn't taste right.

R. Lee Ermey is the same as he's ever been, the only time he had depth of character was in Dead Man Walking, and that was for one scene. The only performance I did like was from Jonathon Tucker. He was good in The Deep End, and he ****ing carried 100 Girls. He knocked it out of the park. But I still prefer the fat whiny parapilegic as the 5th wheel. ;)

Three things I didn't like that were incorparated into this.
1. Explaning why Leatherface wears the flesh....it's more ****ed if he just does and you don't know why rather than to have him take his mask off, hoave no nose, and have secondary characters say he had skin disease.
2. It was too convenient that they were just passing by on there way to a concert. Happend to pick up, not one but, 2 hitchhikers...incorparate one into the group really quickly and then pick up the crazy one not for the sake of weird irony like in Hooper's, but for foreshadowing the ending.:yuck

3. Harry Knowles severed head cameo. **** you Fanboy!!!

I'm biased, I know. I've seen the other (4) TCMs a dozen and a half times to truly give credit where credit's due. PLanet of the Apes was just different, I was able to accept it because right up front I knew it had nothing to do with the original. Psycho tried to be Psycho, shot by ****ing shot(minus Vince Vaughn pulling pud).

[Evil Dead Junkie]

A couple of thoughts after a second viewing

1. I did think Biel did a good job, she just failed to capture the raw animal panic of the orginal girl.

2. The part where Leatherface faces Biel wearing her boyfriends face, was ****ed up, creative, and some scary shit. Unlike the rest of the movie. That's the one non R. Lee Ermy part that touched the orginal for me.

3. Ermey had some Depth in Seven. But seriously he's like Willem Dafoe I can enjoy him in just about anything.

4. The Blair Witch Footage and "Suprise" ending telegraphed from a mile away pisses me off more and more.

5. ****ing Nice Inbred Hillbilly Kids, actually had me shouting at the screen this time (Mind you I was in a room of druken movie buffs who had just sat through the orginal so this wasn't uncommon.

[Bordick]

Ermey is about as one dimensional as a peice of plywood, he's the exactly the same everytime.

[Evil Dead Junkie]

So he's great one dimensonal piece of plywood. Plus he's not above making fun of his image ("REMEMBER Stay Away from women ALL THEY WANT IS YOUR MAN JUICE!!!" , Gay Marriage to Jack Black) and in Seven he really did have some good depth (his final exchange with Morgan Freeman pops to mind) and plus TCM is hardly the place for depth.

[Bordick]

I'm just saying everything he's in he's the pissed off guy

[Evil Dead Junkie]

He wasn't pissed in Seven.

And he's a funny as hell angry dude.

[Bordick]

angry/pissed=tomato/tomatoe

[Bordick]

but you gotta admit, Tucker was good.

[Evil Dead Junkie]

Which Cadaver was he?

And as far as I'm concerned you're lying if you didn't get satisfaction from a dead Harry Knowles.

[Bordick]

Severed head on a platter.

[Evil Dead Junkie]

PS. I love Barry he's so funny in a MST type way, his death was so satisfying.

Joe Bob Briggs dubbed him the most rehensible handicapped person on film :D

[Evil Dead Junkie]

I was referring to Tucker. I saw Knowles. Who could miss that fatbody?

[Bordick]

Originally posted by Evil Dead Junkie
PS. I love Barry he's so funny in a MST type way, his death was so satisfying.


The new dvd has an outtake where he was rolling along and broke a floor board and slowly fell out of the chair, I laughed my ass off.

[Bordick]

Tucker played Morgan, the only character actually dressed to period

[Evil Dead Junkie]

I love that whiny little piece of shit.

Best Barry though is from the part where he makes fun of the hitchhiker (I think we just picked up Dracula) to his whiny little girl scream when the ****er slices up his hand.

HEADCHEESE!!!

[Evil Dead Junkie]

What's the best part in the new one for you guys. For me it was the suicide reinactment, and the Boyfriend face showdown.

[Bordick]

His death came out of nowhere, it was the best "jump" in the flick.

"Wait, I hear something..................."

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Dead, Sally Books!

[Bordick]

Originally posted by Evil Dead Junkie
What's the best part in the new one for you guys. For me it was the suicide reinactment

That's what sold me on Tucker's performance. You can tell he was ready to piss himself.

[Phantasm]

Um, who the hell is Barry? If you're referring to the fat wheelchair bound fat guy from the original, his name was Franklin.