HOUSE OF RAGE - 12/05

[crappertay]

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BORDICK's
HOUSE OF RAGE

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FRIDAY DECEMBER 5TH

I've been sick...........you ****ERS. Forgive the Tay vissage....this is Bordick Here. I've infultrated his ass. Anywho, this week's RAGE is about ****ING BEING SICK. I ****ing hate it....I'm hacking up all sorts of juicy juicy phelgm. I took nyquil around 11 PM Thursday night and woke up......6 PM Friday night....Apparently it snowed in NYC. But being sick blows. I weant to the docter and he said to KEEP SMOKING!!!! Apparently the more I smoke the more likely I am to cough up the goo out of my lungs. So lovely. It sucks though. IT ****ING SUCKS. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate being sick. I sneezed earlier, randomly, and I got Bordick germs all over my crystal clear LCD monitor. God damn germs! With any luck it'll pass in a few days..............but that's wishful thinking, I hate that too. Mother****ing cocksmoking sicknesses. **** this, I'm a go get me some 'tussin.

I'm out.

Bordick

Matt, it's all you.

[Matt]

The following things PISS ME OFF

1. Old people bitching about a "fixed income". Last time I checked, my income stays the same too each week. And stop holding up the line at McDonalds. Jesus, arguing about 10% off a cup of coffee is a ticket directly to Hell.

2. While I'm bitching about old people, Old broads who spend 45 minutes counting out exact change deserve to be put in a home and never visited. I ain't bitter though.

3. I ordered 5 tacos the other day from Taco Bell and I received 2 hot sauces. WHAT THE **** IS THERE A SHORTAGE OF WATERED DOWN HOT SAUCE? Then when I ask for more, they give me like 20 more. MODERATION GODDAMMIT!

4. I hate any sports team that has orange in it. They all wear jean shorts and molest small children.

5. Politicians. **** em. Not a damn member of Congress gives a rat's ass about making the country better..they just don't want the OTHER party to look good.

6. WHO CANCELLED THE SMURFS? I HAVE A BLOW TORCH THAT WANTS TO MEET THEM.

7. The following people deserve a punch in the face: Barbra Streisand, Liza Minelli, David Bonior, Bill O'Reilly, Tim Burton, Pedro Martinez, Taco Bell Dog, Jeremy Shockey, old man who told me to sit down at the football game the other day, Jim Carrey, Yanni, Celine Dion, Juan Valdez, Whoever invented the safety lighter, The doctor who gave me my last physical (he lingered too long), Nick Saban, Bob Denver, John Denver, and Denver Bronco coach Mike Shanahan.

8. Back to Tim Burton. While I admire your ability to be a creative genius despite dressing like a gothic princess, I SPIT ON YOUR FOR YOUR ARROGANT AND DISMISSIVE ATTITUDE TOWARDS WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY. So it didn't mean that much to you. Well, Planet of the Apes didn't do much for me either. Heck, with your track record of screwing up classic movies, should we expect WWaTCF to end on a parallel universe

9. Let's talk about McDonald's for a second. When I was young, I always got a great cinnamon danish for breakfast but can I now? OH NO! I have to get a cinnamon roll with a drop of icing and the hardness of a brick.

10. What asshole decided that Justin Timberlake could sing?

11. It really chafes my hide when I say "Turn to page 140" and then I must repeat myself 20 times because it is a scientific fact that 14 yr olds are the dumbest form of life on the planet.



More to come....

[Evil Dead Junkie]

:lol I have to say Matt this list suprised me I always figured you had a tatoo on your chest in Gangsta lettering that said "O' REILY TILL I DIE MOTHER ****ER!!!"

[Matt]

okay i thought of another one. University of Georgia President Michael Adams. He is forcing our former coach/current Athletic Director to retire. Dooley has did more for our university than ANYBODY else. Yet, Adams hates that Dooley is respected and doesn't cowtow to what Adams wants. Once Adams wanted the Athletic Department to divert funds to one of his pet projects.. Hmm..that's illegal but he didn't care. Adams also went behind our Dooley's back and made a deal with our former football coach that would force the University to pay him 250,000 if he was fired. Another time, Adams went over Dooley's head and made Dooley hire our former coach Jim Harrick, who was a cheating old bastard at ever job he's ever had. When Harrick was found out to be cheating, Adams got up a press conference and told how "Dooley would handle this and blah blah blah" completely wringing his hands of responsibility.

Now he's forcing Dooley to retire even if he wants to work 3 more years. He's been here for 40 years and has been a blessing. He has watched our entire sports program capture over 20 national titles but Adams wants a lapdog to do the job for him. Screw you Adams.

[Matt]

Originally posted by Evil Dead Junkie
:lol I have to say Matt this list suprised me I always figured you had a tatoo on your chest in Gangsta lettering that said "O' REILY TILL I DIE MOTHER ****ER!!!"

Oh, I'm conservative politically but Bill O'Reilly is a pretentious bastard who never lets anybody talk but himself. Do I agree with his opinions? Many. Do I like him? No. O'Reilly is far worse than Limbaugh ever could be.

[Wiggum]

Matt, your list of 11 was ****ing awesome.

[Matt]

Originally posted by Wiggum
Matt, your list of 11 was ****ing awesome.

thank you sir!

[Bordick]

Originally posted by Tay


Sorry folks. No Bordick today... he's off buying those slurpees! :D


I've been sick....I slept for 20 hours. God I love NyQuil.

[Bordick]

I infultrated Tay's original post to include my RAGE.


You didn't think you'd get away that easy..........did ya?

[masterthes]

Matt, that list was awesomeness :lol

[crappertay]

Forgive the Tay vissage....this is Bordick Here. I've infultrated his ass.


And you didn't even have the decency to buy me a drink first :lol

That is just wrong. lol.

[Matt]

here's a quick outrage.

Neckties. I want the head of the person responsible for these. So you say that person is dead, huh? Well clone his ass and I want the head of his clone.

God.. they are uncomfortable and I usually am not fond of a noose around my neck. And to top that, nice ties cost about 50 bucks.

[crappertay]

Formal dress to work today? lol

[Bordick]

Matt Norris. Dressing to impress.......12 year olds.

[Matt]

lol I wear em all the time..I just hate them. But I rarely wear em to school too tight. lol

[garfield hates mondays]

Matt, I never knew you had so much RAGE!

[Bordick]

Originally posted by smeagol wants fishess
Matt, I never knew you had so much RAGE!

He's a teacher.........teaching=stress............I know it first hand.

[garfield hates mondays]

good point. you should rage on the kids next, matt

[Promithcuous]

Originally posted by Bordick
He's a teacher.........teaching=stress............I know it first hand.

Correct. The amount of stress my teachers had to endure when I was going to school was enough to ensure the local pharmacies of a 500% rise in the selling of valium and related products.:D

[Matt]

my kids are alright. I have around 140 total. Typical 4 yr olds.

Matt

[masterthes]

So, wheres the rage Matt? You've been quiet as of late.

[Bordick]

Originally posted by Matt UGA
my kids are alright. I have around 140 total. Typical 4 yr olds.

Matt

Atta boy Matt!!! Hit that shit and hit good! and Here I thought you only had 2

[Matt]

Originally posted by Bordick
Atta boy Matt!!! Hit that shit and hit good! and Here I thought you only had 2

:rofl

okay let me clarify that. I have 140 students. lol!!

2 kids are plenty...please somebody tell Tiffanie this.

[Bordick]

Originally posted by Matt UGA
2 kids are plenty...please somebody tell Tiffanie this.

I smell tention............RAGE motha****a, RAGE....you got 15 hours left!