Brian
12-15-2003, 10:52 AM
The Sunday night (Dec. 14) two-hour finale of "Survivor: Pearl Islands" begins with a lengthy season recap. From Drake's early dominance to the return of the Outcasts to host Jeff Probst's cutting dismissal of quitter Osten to Jon's much-discussed Big Lie to the betrayal of Rupert, the latest installment of "Survivor" offered a healthy dose of excitement.
It's even more entertaining to watch the contestants' bodies erode in time-lapse fashion. The clips show Jon become increasingly scruffy, Lill become increasingly saggy and Darrah's teeth threaten to overtake her face.
It's Day 37 in Balboa when we join the Final Four contestants. Jeff arrives on shore with pastries, champagne and orange juice. Lill cries and contemplates making Jeff an honorary scout. Somebody mentions an extra challenge and Lill cries again. It turns out that Jeff is merely carrying a pile of letters from home, which makes Lill cry once more.
The letters bring everybody to tears. Darrah is worried about her dog, so she bawls. Sandra is amazed the number of exclamation points at the end of her letter, so she cries. Lill's son quotes Pete Rose, which makes her wail (because apparently she really really wishes he was in the Hall of Fame already).
Jon figures that Lill's red eyes are a red herring and he goads her into a confrontation with Darrah over who's going to the Top Two. Jon sits between the two women literally rubbing his palms together and stroking his goatee, but they fight anyway. Lill goes and weeps.
For the first time in their five weeks, Lill grows a spine and when Darrah walks off alone (which you should never ever do at this point in the game) she compacts with Jon and Sandra to give the Mississippi Mortician the boot. Sandra sticks by her "I don't care who goes as long as it isn't me" mantra.
"I'm the king of men and they're women," Reptile for All Seasons Jon declares before the Immunity Challenge. "If it's a getting pregnant contest, yeah, they can probably win, but other than that? No. Mentally? Physically? I can beat any of them."
Jon relishes the responsibilities of being Tribal Ubermensch.
The Immunity Challenge takes place in front of the jury and the jury gets to play along. If they win, nobody gets precious immunity. It's a trivia game of questions and answers.
Interestingly, nobody asks the most obvious question: Dude, Burton, what small, furry animal died on your chin?
The jury wins Immunity because, well, Rupert knows everything. So none of the Final Four are safe. Jeff takes the time to ask the finalists about their letters from home. Lill cries, but she also insists that no matter how much talk is going on behind her back, she still takes piss breaks, which is nice to know.
By a vote of 3-1, Darrah is voted out of the tribe.
"It's pretty bad when people think that you're a physical threat when you weigh about 60 pounds soaking wet," Darrah observes correctly. Darrah also calls Lill a snake, making her the second consecutive member of the jury to call out the Sobbing Scoutmaster.
Lill actually seems smug when she gets back to camp.
Up early the next morning Lill, Jon and Sandra don parkas and head to Pirate Cove. It's time to honor the fallen outcasts with, of all things, a Viking funeral. The torches of departed Survivors are placed on a pirate ship, which goes up in flames.
Ignominious Wimp Osten's torch is notably set aside.
The final endurance challenge leaves the Final Three balancing atop rickety rafts. A big wave comes and knocks Sandra down. Jon starts trying to make deals with Lill, but she's hanging tough. Jeff is highly amused by Jon's pain.
Two hours have passed and Jon is becoming desperate and stir-crazy, but for Aerobics Master Lill, this is just a glorified squat. It's Lill's first immunity and her transformation from the beginning of the episode is complete. She's a remorseless "Survivor" machine. New Lill would look at Old Lill and grunt, "I know now why you cry, but it's something I can never do."
Lill has even started referring to herself in the third person. Sandra knows that Lill's smart choice is taking Jon with her. Jon even admits as much, telling Lill that he only has one vote on the jury.
They arrive at Tribal Council. The jury comes in and we discover that the rodent has migrated off of Burton's chin and that Darrah has rediscovered dangling earrings, makeup and hair products.
The Scoutmaster arrives in Tribal Council singing "Amazing Grace." She once was blind, she informs us, but now she can see. The evidence speaks otherwise. Lill votes for Jon, eliminating the most hated of her possible opponents.
Lill's logic is faulty at best. She figures that she'd rather Sandra have the money than Jon, which is only valid if Lill is playing for second.
With the sentimental piano playing, Lill and Sandra row away from camp for the final time. Most of the members of the jury are philosophical about their decisions. Darrah, though, swears to let Lill know how she feels. And Jonny Fairplay vows to show the world his newly neatened porn star moustache.
It's time for closing arguments. Sandra says she always gave 100 percent. Lill refers to herself constantly in the third person and talks about how many people lied to her about going to the final three. Um, Lill, don't you understand that you have a million reasons not to insult those jury members now?
There's not much question which direction the jury is heading. Ryan O. takes Lill to task for her eight days away from the game. Rupert attacks her for her lies, which he feels betray the Scout Oath. Christa pokes fun at her constant apologies.
Lill's answers to the various charges are mostly uncertain. She doesn't seem to have a clue what the members of the jury want to hear. Sandra is, as always, direct and articulate, but she has the advantage of staring back at faces that seem to admire her.
The two women make their closing statements to the jury. Sandra is candid and gets smiles and nods. Lill is passionate and even angry and she's greeted with blank stares. Perhaps after 38 days of constantly harping on her Scouty-goodness, she waited a bit too long to rethink her costume and attitude. There's little doubt which direction the jury is going to go.
Jeff takes the jar of votes and hops on the long motorboat ride to CBS Studio City.
Back in Los Angeles, the results are announced. Only Tijuana votes for Lill, giving Sandra Diaz-Twine a convincing 6-1 victory and the $1 million prize as the winner of "Survivor: Pearl Islands."
It's even more entertaining to watch the contestants' bodies erode in time-lapse fashion. The clips show Jon become increasingly scruffy, Lill become increasingly saggy and Darrah's teeth threaten to overtake her face.
It's Day 37 in Balboa when we join the Final Four contestants. Jeff arrives on shore with pastries, champagne and orange juice. Lill cries and contemplates making Jeff an honorary scout. Somebody mentions an extra challenge and Lill cries again. It turns out that Jeff is merely carrying a pile of letters from home, which makes Lill cry once more.
The letters bring everybody to tears. Darrah is worried about her dog, so she bawls. Sandra is amazed the number of exclamation points at the end of her letter, so she cries. Lill's son quotes Pete Rose, which makes her wail (because apparently she really really wishes he was in the Hall of Fame already).
Jon figures that Lill's red eyes are a red herring and he goads her into a confrontation with Darrah over who's going to the Top Two. Jon sits between the two women literally rubbing his palms together and stroking his goatee, but they fight anyway. Lill goes and weeps.
For the first time in their five weeks, Lill grows a spine and when Darrah walks off alone (which you should never ever do at this point in the game) she compacts with Jon and Sandra to give the Mississippi Mortician the boot. Sandra sticks by her "I don't care who goes as long as it isn't me" mantra.
"I'm the king of men and they're women," Reptile for All Seasons Jon declares before the Immunity Challenge. "If it's a getting pregnant contest, yeah, they can probably win, but other than that? No. Mentally? Physically? I can beat any of them."
Jon relishes the responsibilities of being Tribal Ubermensch.
The Immunity Challenge takes place in front of the jury and the jury gets to play along. If they win, nobody gets precious immunity. It's a trivia game of questions and answers.
Interestingly, nobody asks the most obvious question: Dude, Burton, what small, furry animal died on your chin?
The jury wins Immunity because, well, Rupert knows everything. So none of the Final Four are safe. Jeff takes the time to ask the finalists about their letters from home. Lill cries, but she also insists that no matter how much talk is going on behind her back, she still takes piss breaks, which is nice to know.
By a vote of 3-1, Darrah is voted out of the tribe.
"It's pretty bad when people think that you're a physical threat when you weigh about 60 pounds soaking wet," Darrah observes correctly. Darrah also calls Lill a snake, making her the second consecutive member of the jury to call out the Sobbing Scoutmaster.
Lill actually seems smug when she gets back to camp.
Up early the next morning Lill, Jon and Sandra don parkas and head to Pirate Cove. It's time to honor the fallen outcasts with, of all things, a Viking funeral. The torches of departed Survivors are placed on a pirate ship, which goes up in flames.
Ignominious Wimp Osten's torch is notably set aside.
The final endurance challenge leaves the Final Three balancing atop rickety rafts. A big wave comes and knocks Sandra down. Jon starts trying to make deals with Lill, but she's hanging tough. Jeff is highly amused by Jon's pain.
Two hours have passed and Jon is becoming desperate and stir-crazy, but for Aerobics Master Lill, this is just a glorified squat. It's Lill's first immunity and her transformation from the beginning of the episode is complete. She's a remorseless "Survivor" machine. New Lill would look at Old Lill and grunt, "I know now why you cry, but it's something I can never do."
Lill has even started referring to herself in the third person. Sandra knows that Lill's smart choice is taking Jon with her. Jon even admits as much, telling Lill that he only has one vote on the jury.
They arrive at Tribal Council. The jury comes in and we discover that the rodent has migrated off of Burton's chin and that Darrah has rediscovered dangling earrings, makeup and hair products.
The Scoutmaster arrives in Tribal Council singing "Amazing Grace." She once was blind, she informs us, but now she can see. The evidence speaks otherwise. Lill votes for Jon, eliminating the most hated of her possible opponents.
Lill's logic is faulty at best. She figures that she'd rather Sandra have the money than Jon, which is only valid if Lill is playing for second.
With the sentimental piano playing, Lill and Sandra row away from camp for the final time. Most of the members of the jury are philosophical about their decisions. Darrah, though, swears to let Lill know how she feels. And Jonny Fairplay vows to show the world his newly neatened porn star moustache.
It's time for closing arguments. Sandra says she always gave 100 percent. Lill refers to herself constantly in the third person and talks about how many people lied to her about going to the final three. Um, Lill, don't you understand that you have a million reasons not to insult those jury members now?
There's not much question which direction the jury is heading. Ryan O. takes Lill to task for her eight days away from the game. Rupert attacks her for her lies, which he feels betray the Scout Oath. Christa pokes fun at her constant apologies.
Lill's answers to the various charges are mostly uncertain. She doesn't seem to have a clue what the members of the jury want to hear. Sandra is, as always, direct and articulate, but she has the advantage of staring back at faces that seem to admire her.
The two women make their closing statements to the jury. Sandra is candid and gets smiles and nods. Lill is passionate and even angry and she's greeted with blank stares. Perhaps after 38 days of constantly harping on her Scouty-goodness, she waited a bit too long to rethink her costume and attitude. There's little doubt which direction the jury is going to go.
Jeff takes the jar of votes and hops on the long motorboat ride to CBS Studio City.
Back in Los Angeles, the results are announced. Only Tijuana votes for Lill, giving Sandra Diaz-Twine a convincing 6-1 victory and the $1 million prize as the winner of "Survivor: Pearl Islands."