Vampyric cannibalists -- who's this talking?

[Cogito]

Who's talking?

JESUS: "The rich came up to me and said they wanted to get into the kingdom of heaven, and I told them it was easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle, than for the rich to get into heaven."

GOD: "That was pretty surreal of you..."

JESUS: "Well, I'd been smoking a bit that day... But the rich, they got huge blenders and they put camels into them, and they sprayed them, through very fine jets, through the eyes of needles. So they're all coming up now."

JESUS: "And then I did the last supper; I gave them some wine, I told them 'drink this wine; it is my blood...'"

GOD: "You said WHAT?"

JESUS: "I told them, 'drink this wine; it it my blood' -- I was trying to make it a ceremony..."

GOD: "But that's vampirism! Vampyric thing -- 'drink my blood' -- you got pagan things right there, in a new religion!"

JESUS: "Oh, sorry."

GOD: "Why didn't you say, 'drink this wine; it's a Merlot?'"

JESUS: "Oh yeah..."

GOD: "Did you say anything else?"

JESUS: "No..."

GOD: "Nothing at all?"

JESUS: "No..."

GOD: "Nothing about bread?"

JESUS: "Yes..."

GOD: "What'd you say...?"

JESUS: "Well, I said, 'eat this bread; it is my ... favorite!'"

GOD: "What?"

JESUS: "Okay, I said it was my body, okay?"

GOD: "That's cannibalism! You got vampyrism and cannibalism right at the begining of a new religion! And you dine on easter -- that's the biggest pagan ceremony, of ... ever! They'll be celebrating your death on a different date every year -- depending on the MOON! If they don't work out that that's pagan, I'll eat my hat!"

JESUS: "Dad, don't worry, no-one's gonna work it out for two thousand years -- until a transvestite points it out in New York."

[phenotype31]

Not sure. Eddie Izzard?

[Cogito]

Nice one -- you got it!

Damn funny passage that one. Love the accent he does for God.

[phenotype31]

Bing!