Today is a day for calling a rotten apple a bad piece of fruit and calling a lousy movie-to-game adaptation a complete piece of crap. Usually I’m forgiving to projects that boast some kind of ingenuity, innovation, invigoration or intelligent game design, but this game takes the cake with its decade-old presentation.

A new trailer was released for G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra, the video game rendition of the upcoming movie of the same name. The voice-over for the trailer is great, the font and the pace is also well done and I can’t say that the way the scenes are put together are bad. The problem isn’t with whoever put the trailer together, the problem is the game!

A shred of wordy adulation could have been in store if this game was made for the PS2 back in 2002. The problem is that what you’re about to see in the following trailer will only make you question why they’re making the game in the first place. The animations are bad, the shooting is clunky, the melee looks awful, the set pieces are bland, the vehicles are blocky and unconvincing and the combat is just all-the-way-around cheesy. I think that sums it up nicely. The game looks crappily cheesy.

Maybe there’s some hidden gameplay secret that’ll blow my eyes out of their sockets and implode my thumbs from perpetual play, but I’m highly doubtful of that. You can check out the trailer below and look for the game to hit retailers this summer for the DS, PS3, Xbox 360 and Wii.

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