After Electronic Arts failed to acquire Take-Two Interactive, a rumor started that EA, like a poon-hungry college kid spurned by a cheerleader, would go find some random fat chick to sate his urge. Namely, Epic Games. Turns out EA doesn't do cellulite, though.

Okay, Epic Games isn't a fat chick. They've got Gears of War 2 on the way and that should net a tidy profit; as you may recall, the EA/Take-Two negotiations first started to heat up in the time leading up to the Grand Theft Auto 4. Perhaps just as importantly, Epic develops the Unreal Engines. EA getting exclusive rights over Unreal Engine 4? Sounds like a pretty good deal if you can pull enough coin together. That was GameGuru's thinking, anyway.

Turns out EA isn't buying Epic, though. Epic VP Mark Rein told VG247 today that the rumor is "rubbish." Not exactly a tough word to parse. Oh well, guess everyone'll have to find another reason to badmouth EA today.