Leave it to me, the constant poo-poo’er of everything awesome, to be disappointed that the last new character in Smash Bros. Brawl, which is fast approaching its March North American release date, is Captain Olimar from the quirky Pikmin series. Sure, if he had been the first announced new character for the game, I would have flipped a table in enthusiastic joy as I’m one of the very few Nintendo-philes who really took to Pikmin on the Gamecube. But as the last question mark on the roster to finally be revealed, I have to say that I’m a little bit disappointed.

Some time or other, I think I heard somewhere that there would actually be THREE non-Nintendo characters in the game. But with Sonic and Solid Snake rounding out the non-Nintendo quota, that only makes two by my calculations. And to that, all I have to say is, “Huh?” What happened along the way to that third character? Was that only a beautiful rumor spread by an ugly internet lie? Oh, the horror of being led astray!

Also of note is the fact that the secret characters are really lame; and when I say really lame, I mean really lame, as in, we’ve already seen and played as them before. I’m not going to spoil who they are for you (You can do that for yourself on the Smash Bros. DOJO!! website), but let’s just say you won’t be grabbing for your defibrillator in shock when you finally see them.

Quite frankly, I’m upset, and it’s not just because I’m a regular pessimist when it comes to these sorts of things. I think some of the new characters were wasted since a few of them like Lucas, Ike, and Zero Suit Samus are just retreads of characters of Smash Bros. past. And I’m also really tired of the Kirby references already, so I’m equally unexcited about King Dedede and Meta Knight. That leaves only Diddy Kong, Pit, and Wario to be only marginally excited about, and Solid Snake, Pokemon Trainer (Watch him, he’s cool!) and Sonic to be really excited about. As I said before, leave it to me to complain when the game will obviously be awesome when it’s finally released here in the States. And if you haven’t already, I’d pre-order now, as the game’s sure to sell out like Skittle flavored hotcakes when it finally comes out in stores on March 9th.

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