Having played video games almost my entire life, (there was a period in the mid-nineties where I was more interested in girls) I know what it means to become completely immersed in the fantasy worlds of video games. Sometimes it is so much more appealing to live in a world where you can do anything and the characters are all either interesting or drop dead gorgeous, in that creepy kind of way than living in your mundane world where you can’t climb the walls to get to that hidden treasure or punch a block and get a magic mushroom. Well maybe that last part could work. Anyway here is a list of ten things that I have heard or uttered myself that throw up some warning flags.

1. When you listen to the radio you buy albums because you said to yourself “If I was listening to that I’d definitely get more kills.”
2. On dates you wait for the HUD button sequence to try and get to second base. (Press A to move in for kiss. Press B to initiate heavy petting.)
3. While at the grocery store you’ve ever thought, I could reach that shelf with double-jump.
4. Eating dinner is referred to as “getting a power-up” in your household.
5. Your day planner reads: 8am-4pm work, Best Buy. 4:30pm-12am work, Mystic cavern raid.
6. You enjoy Uwe Boll movies, on principle.
7. You despise Uwe Boll movies, on principle.
8. You list your gamer achievements on resumes.
9. You’ve ever muttered, “But it looked so easy on Wii Sports.”
10. You justify not buying presents for your friend’s birthday because you “helped him out of a jam when he couldn’t find Knights of the Round in FFVII.”

If you or a friend can identify with this list, that means it’s time to put down the controller and get outside, go on a date, maybe even spend some time with your family who obviously haven’t seen you for quite a while. If you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my appointment to raid a cave troll’s lair.