GAMING BLEND

VGX Awards Most Cringe-Worthy Moments Extended Cut

By William Usher 2013-12-08 13:01:53 discussion comments

Spike's VGX Awards is done and over with (thankfully). Yet, we're not done with the VGX awards. Pixel Perfect put together a supercut of the most cringe-worthy moments from the three hour live broadcast that had most gamers burying their heads in the sand to avoid any association with that travesty.

With a slogan that read “Binge Responsibly” someone should have told the VGX producers to “produce responsibly”. The show was hard to watch, and yet it was equally hard to stop watching as Joel McHale did everything in his power to rustle the jimmies of Geoff Keighley. The show was an embarrassment, and yet there was this power it held over viewers to entice them to stay in order to see if it could get any worse.

Thankfully (or not?) the extended cut features all those horribly awkward moments that filled up the three hour show, minus all the commercials and needless fluff . It's sort of like skipping all the tension-ridden foreplay and getting right to the torture porn of an Eli Roth flick.

The biggest difference between the live show and this extended cut is that I know what I'm getting in this video and I know that I don't have to torture myself with it to see it to the end. I know how this train ride ends... I've seen the wreck.

One of the worst multi-segment elements of the show was with the Loiter Squad... these guys lived up to their name in the worst way imaginable and nothing they said was coherent, relevant, funny or entertaining. No, it was quite the opposite. Anyone with kids probably covered their eyes and ears in hopes of preventing the retard the Loiter Squad was spreading from infecting their youth.

I know Keighley and McHale had about as much chemistry as Christian Bale and the cinematographer from Terminator Salvation, but I thought their inching towards a flaming, steel-cage deathmatch as the show progressed is what helped keep me seated; otherwise it would have been like forcing myself to sit through Pauly Shore films just to see how many brain cells I could kill in one sitting.

McHale took every opportunity possible to remind the audience that he was suffering through hosting the show as much as we were pained to watch it. It was great having him point out how cheaply built the set was, how terribly low-budget the whole production happened to be and how he had to goad those within the studio to clap amidst the silent-as-a-dead-rat-in-a-cereal-box award announcements.

Some gamers weren't warmed to McHale at all, but I have to admit that the Community star at least spoke honestly about the pile-up, as opposed to blowing smoke up the developers' buttocks and the commercials their publishers were peddling.

Nevertheless, even McHale's deadpan honesty and zero-phucks-given mentality couldn't keep the show from spiraling into a cesspool of stinky, hot air that would make most late night talk show hosts cringe from the Doritocratic shilling taking place in that homeless guy's loft.

I'm not going to say the whole show was a bust, though. If it wasn't for the VGX, we never would have been given this goodness by Naughty Dog.


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