50 Cent Asked To Think Outside The Bun

With the country on the brink of economic catastrophe, I don’t care that the dollar is plummeting in value, the unemployment rate rose in 29 states since last month and oil barrels are running an arm, a leg and a portion of your torso – I care that 50 Cent has a job. I care that 50 Cent’s job now entails him to change his name to 79, 89, or 99 Cent in order to promote Taco Bell’s new value menu. Because I care about 50 Cent, and I care about warm pillowy Gorditas and whatever the hell an Echirito is.

In a ploy to get the Queens rapper to take on the fast-food brigade, OK! Magazine obtained a letter from president and Taco Bell CEO Greg Creed that said, "We know that you adopted the name 50 Cent years ago as a metaphor for change. We at Taco Bell are also huge advocates for change. We encourage you to 'Think Outside the Bun' and hope you accept our offer." I hope you accept their offer too, Fiddy, because I want my Nachos to come with a side of nine gun shots and my Crunchwrap Supreme with a hefty dollop of arson.

In an equally clever ploy to garnish as much fanfare as possible, Taco Bell has also tried enlisting 50 Cent's band 'Guerilla Unit' (G-Unit) to listen to their two cents. Much in the same vein as (what may hopefully be) 79 Cent, G-Unit will, as of July, only respond when referred to as "The Baja Blast Boys."