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Like Templeton (2) from Charlotte’s Web, I’ll sniff, scrounge through, and eventually shit out the most important music-related stories of the previous week. In an unimportant gag that serves no real purpose other than to bind the article together, I’ll count all celebrity references in parentheses, hoping to snag 50 by the time this grouping of words gets egg on your face. Fired-up? Than like John The Baptist’s (3) head, I’m off! ... read more |
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The seventy-six year old had admitted publically he struggled with addictions for years. Still, it’s hard to grasp anyone alive during World War II snorting away their life. Doesn’t the urge to stick illegal substances in the nasal cavity decline along with a dude’s sex drive? At least he went out doing his favorite thing. Wait, that was beating the hell out of Tina. At least he went out doing his second favorite thing. His family must take some solace in that ... read more |
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With this new found time, I’ve decided to focus my efforts on a new column (and napping). Every week, I’m going to look back at the previous seven days, cattily commenting on all the unseemly shit that went down. From newly announced tours to Rock n Roll deaths, I’ll infect every piece of news with my vindictive syringe of hate speech. To make it a challenge, I’m going to slide in at least fifty references to lead singers, drunken debutantes, and members of the clergy ... read more |
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Unfortunately, Ike Turner, who died this Wednesday at age 76 in his San Diego home, will initially be remembered as the wife-beating cokehead portrayed by Lawrence Fishburne in the Tina Turner biopic "What's Love Got to Do With It." There is no immediate word on cause of death. While there is hardly an excuse for laying a hand on Tina Turner, Ike's reputation as one of the fathers of Rock n' Roll will no doubt grow rosier in his passing ... read more |
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