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2007 was the year of the reunion. Long-awaited reunions, mediocre reunions, Anarchistic reunions, even one-hit wonder reunions. Band members veered apart, splintered off into solo mediocrity and than Kriss Krossed back, traipsing across the country with their original drummers. Apparently, even at fifty, getting serviced by nineteen year olds with repressed daddy issues in a Cleveland motel room is better per diem than a hundred bucks and a novelty ‘World’s Best Employee’ mug from the assistant manager at Costco ... read more |
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I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a hell of a week. Santa (1) came and visited my household, dolling out Christmas cheer and accidentally leaving one of his Lipitors next to an empty plate of chocolate chunk cookies on my kitchen table. My beloved Chicago Blackhawks have won four straight, and I couldn’t be in a better mood. Now, it’s time to tarnish those good vibes by digging up all the heinous stories of Rock N Roll excess from the last week ... read more |
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Mel B.’s uber-expensive bracelet flew off her wrist and into the crowd during a performance in London a few weeks back. Thanks to a fortuitous bounce, the luxury item ended up in a concert-goer’s hand. Rather than bolting for his local pawn shop to make money money, the good Samaritan handed it to a security guard who gave it back to Relieved Spice ... read more |
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The overwhelming initial success of the Spice Girls’ reunion tour has inspired them to add seven more dates across North America. The most popular female pop group of all time will pick up five gigs in the United States and two up north in Canada. Make money money, make money money ... read more |
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For the third time in his illustrious career, David Beckham has been sent off in disgrace, this time by his own wife. Victoria, nervous about her upcoming tour, has barred her soccer star husband from attending the first gig in Vancouver. Undeterred, Becks has announced he will be on hand for next week’s show in San Jose before following the most famous girl group around the world. How cute ... read more |
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What a disaster. Thirty-three year old Mrs. Beckham, Posh Spice, has been reportedly battling a chest cold for over two months, and if her condition fails to improve, it could halt the Spice Girls reunion tour indefinitely. I blame America’s failing health care system. How is Victoria supposed to get adequate medical care when she’s forced to fork over a co-pay out of her own trendy fifty-thousand dollar purse? It’s appalling ... read more |
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Sexy lingerie and The Spice Girls go hand in hand, or at least that’s what one undergarment retailer is hoping. Victoria’s Secret has ordered an estimated five hundred thousand copies of the fivesome’s Greatest Hits LP to sell in their stores. The move seems to have come completely out of left field, but I guess it’s not that much of a stretch. Nothing sets the seductive mood quite like revealing underwear and a boombox screeching lines like, “If you wanna get with me/ better make it fast" ... read more |
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