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An Open Letter To Scott Weiland
By Rema Rahman: 2008-04-02 17:28:49
Dear Scotty,You are the coolest ass clown alive, you know that? Gyrating a sorry sack of skin and bones on stage, you slither your way between former members of Guns N Roses like an old pro, shirtless and all. I love the way arena lights reflect onto your painted on leather pants with your makeup running down your sweaty face beside that afro, top hat-ed guiltarist-who-shall-remain-namless. But hey, who cares that you were kicked out of Slash’s Velvet Revolver? Look at it this way – at least you’re in the running for a Dr Pepper. Now, why the fuss over the break up? Consider yourself lucky to have escaped six excruciating years of making crap music alive. Music that, in theory, should have been really awesome. So, congratulations, and welcome back to temporary sanity. Was it your latest stint in rehab that made you turn your back on the rest of the boys, finally realizing what kind of garbage you were creating? It doesn’t matter at this point because not only are you getting back together with Stone Temple Pilots – where you belong - but you’re also touring with them. For me, being that I was around 11 when grunge officially took off, that’s a dream come true. Will you be doing “Big Empty” in a Big chair again (get it?) Could you rock a cowboy hat during “Interstate Love Song” this time too? I sure hope so because let me tell you, that one time I grazed over a performance of VR – one time too many – the best part of the set was when you launched into “Vaseline.” You know, an STP song. You aren’t admitting that this reunion has anything to do with VR giving you the boot, but I still want to commend you. Thank you for coming to your senses and bringing back one of the best bands of the 1990s. Too bad Kurt and Layne aren’t here to join you, then we could have totally had, like a 90s Seattle grunge rocker summer reunion festival, blowing razzies as we pass by all those pansy Jack Johnson fans who paid $200 to spend a weekend listening to him moo. Maybe you should have a talk with Chris and at least get Soundgarden back together. I’m sure I still have a flannel lying around somewhere. Kisses, Hugs and Heroin, Ree Ree RELATED: stone temple pilots, velvet revolver, soundgarden, kurt cobain, layne staley
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