Bon Jovi Guitarist Bongs Beers, Drives Daughter

Livin’ on a prayer and a double shot of Southern Comfort, Richie Sambora, best known as the guitarist for Bon Jovi and ugly schmuck who married Heather Locklear, was busted for driving under the influence last night. The forty-eight year old’s steel horse, a black hummer, was spotted by Laguna Beach police (yeah, that place does exist in real life) driving erratically, and after failing numerous field sobriety tests, he was taken into custody.

According to TMZ, the father-of-the-year candidate took two children, including his ten year old daughter Ava, on his sloshed-up joyride. How classy. Thankfully, no one in the vehicle was half-past dead.

As of press time, Sambora’s only charge is for driving under the influence, but reports are circulating that indicate the 5-0 may charge him for reckless endangerment of children. Thank God. Losing the nuclear physicist Heather Locklear’s daughter will undoubtedly grow into is certainly a felony in my book.