Britain Maintains: No Doggs Allowed

British border officials are straight-arming Snoop Dogg, appealing an earlier ruling that allowed the banned rapper access to the land of pubs, pints and Portishead.

To recap: In 2006, the rapper and his neatly braided, ironic pigtails were involved in a scuffle at London’s Heathrow Airport, reportedly instigated when members of his 30-large entourage were barred from the British Airways first-class lounge. The porch-style smack-fest injured seven British officers and resulted in the arrest of Dogg and five of his dawgs. Due to this display of poor foreign relations, as well as his previous record in the U.S., Dogg was banned from entering Britain, forcing him to cancel a March 2007 English tour with fellow hip-hop enforcer P-Diddy.

Calmly and with businesslike demeanor, Snoop appealed the ban, and in January a British asylum and immigration tribunal granted him re-entry. Snoop was free to be impossibly lanky and willowy at any location within the UK.

That is, until April 4, when according to AOL News, the UK Border Agency announced it would appeal Snoop Dogg’s appeal sometime next week, their mission being to keep him and his pigtails safely off English soil.

That, I believe, is some anal-retentive, self-righteous crap. It’s one thing to put a punitive ban on a rabble-rouser immediately after the fact, but to go out of the way to slap him with a counter-appeal over a year later is hard and cold as Manchester cobble. Especially after the U.S. dropped its intention to ban bratty, over-reactive supermodel Naomi Campbell when she threw her own airport tantrum, spitting on a police officer on her way from London to Los Angeles. If not for Radiohead’s upcoming tour and Blur videos on YouTube, I might even consider a personal boycott of England. Oi, mate.