Britney Back In The Studio

Britney Spears, or as I call her the female Leif Garrett, is spending her summer in a recording studio with JR Rotem, Sean Garrett, Guy Sigsworth, Danja and Bloodshy & Avant. Yay. Just what we need: another over-glossed, over-dubbed train wreck of a compact disc from a bulbous-assed, vagina-flashing skank with a potbelly and increasingly poor coordination. Was that too harsh? Or right on the money?

According to Billboard, Miss Spears’ record company, Jive, has been pretty hush-hush on possible collaborators, but she has been confirmed to be making a little video for the Material Girl’s upcoming tour. Sweet action. Maybe A-Rod will be involved.

There’s no word on when this record could plop into your local Circuit City, but I’d expect to wait at least another year. I’m sure the suspense is killing you. Am I the only one who thinks Britney needs to just go away for a few years, maybe pack up the tater-tots and move to bumfuck Alabama? These late-night rendezvous at trendy nightspots and below-average comeback albums do nothing but soil the credibility of a girl who was once the greatest pop star of her time. Go away, Britney. Just for a few years. Get your life in order and then make a triumphant return. We’ll probably care--certainly more than we do now.