CD Review: Avril Lavigne's The Best Damn Thing

Avril Lavigne, the bad girl of pop, is back. Or, more fittingly, the girl who wants us to think she’s bad. Ever since her 2003 debut single, “Complicated,” she has captivated and spiraled us into manic confusion: Britney? Christina? Nope, it's a new breed of feisty bubble gum punk still dominated by the little Canadian girl who once wore a necktie over her wife beater.

Miss Lavigne is back with The Best Damn Thing, her latest effort in which she consistently channels Toni Basil, of “Mickey” notoriety, and the Go-Go’s, who gave us a much needed “Vacation” back in the mid-'80s. This combination is apparent from the album’s first single, “Girlfriend,” a mean-spirited anthem that calls for a guy to leave his girlfriend for her. “Hey, hey, you you/I don’t like your girlfriend/no way no way/I think you need a new one/hey hey/you you/I could be your girlfriend” is the chorus chant accompanied by what appears to be the cheerleading squad from Hell.

From my perspective, this is an antisocial, sociopathic anthem. If there are any 11-year-old girls reading: This is not how relationships are formed. This attitude won’t earn you any friends or remotely worthy boyfriends--trust me, it’s not you; I’m not even sure it’s Avril. I suppose we’re supposed to take it all with a grain of salt, but I’m not convinced her younger fanbase will recognize the satire.

The next “hot” track off the compilation is a little ditty called, well, “Hot.” This plays like a remorseful letter from a dominatrix: “I want to lock you up in my closet/yeah when no one’s around/ I want to put your hand in my pocket, because you're allowed/You make me so hot/you make me want to drop/you’re so ridiculous/I can barely stop/you’re so good to me baby baby.”

Rest assured, if you haven’t heard “Hot” or “Girlfriend” yet, you will. Because despite how crass, how dim, how banal and how cheesy these two songs are, the fact of the matter is, they’re each excruciatingly catchy. You know, as idiotic as “Sk8er Boi” is, at least it's harmless fun.

Avril had a lot of help in concocting The Best Damn Thing from her first husband, Deryck Whibley of Sum 41. If you’re familiar with Sum 41, then you know that is another band that permeates a foul stench of artificial callousness. Perhaps some of that rubbed off on his lovely bride this time around?

The young lady is in love, and that’s fine, though I don’t know why she had to reserve the more “pleasant” melodies for the least interesting tracks. “Runaway” attempts to bring revealing insight in how to deal with the pressures of life, but Avril’s chipmunk pitch drowns any substance. “When You’re Gone” is about being in love and is admittedly a decent ballad. However, it won’t get any airplay (never over “Hot” and “Girlfriend”) and knowing she’s singing about Whibley is a bit of a damper.

How long can Avril play this raunchy bubble gum act? More importantly, this is her third album and it may be her least vivid. Who is Avril Lavigne, anyway? I think “I'm With You” was the last time I sensed there was real person behind this packaged product. I would like to see her bring something to the table next time that isn’t a false exterior of what she thinks we want to see--take the bones coming out of the heart on the album cover.

Oh Avril: Hey hey, you you, I don’t like your angle, no way no way, I think you need a new one.