CD Review: Hilary Duff's Dignity

In the majority of reviews I’ve done since starting this gig, I admit I may have been a bit harsh, at least when it came to those select few albums that redefined what it means to suck. In hindsight, I may have come across as a bit smart-assed, too unforgiving, even a tad snobbish or malicious.

In that respect, this review will be no different.

Hilary Duff, the umpteenth clone from Disney’s ongoing pop star factory, returns with Dignity--a misappropriating title at best, so don’t be fooled. Although the former Lizzie McGuire star is now “all grown up” and is/was/has been trying to shed that Mouseketeer Saturday morning image by going the pouty-lipped sexy route and dating (then recently dumping) some dude from Good Charlotte, she is who she is.

And while she’s nowhere near as annoying as the others lumped into her category (she is cute in the way that your best bud’s little sister is), Dignity is full of the musical high fructose corn syrup you’d expect from a recovering teen princess.

The title track, nestled in at No. 2 on the playlist, sums up the one song that came before it and the 12 others that follow. There is a surplus of dancehall-heavy beats with slick production, courtesy of in-demand producer Will.i.am and co-producers Tim & Bob. “Dignity” is a disco-ish take on Duff’s demand to be taken seriously, while delivering a scathing stab at Hollywood trash (mainly Paris Hilton) with about as much lyrical bite as she’ll likely ever muster.

“Danger” sums up her tabloid relationship with that Good Charlotte fella, while the more accessible message (at least maybe to the older pop crowd) of “With Love” takes a mature stance on the end pains of adult relationships. All these song descriptions are meant to give a glimpse of Dignity’s overall content but, like I said before, it’s everything you’d expect from her and not a single shred more.

Duff has a decent voice (seriously), so it’s a shame she squanders her talent on bland pop poop like this. While she may not reach the caliber of other female artists of somewhat similar ilk (i.e., the new and improved Kelly Clarkson), she has a better shot at staying power and a bit of respect if she picks one media to queen around in. Pick movies or music, hon--not many can rule both.

So what’s the final analysis? Chances are, if you’re reading this review, you A) are really bored or B) really care. In either event you probably shouldn’t buy this. You’re probably not a 12-year-old girl, which is Duff’s bread and butter target demographic. Or you’re a creepy 40-something year old dude living in your mom’s basement fantasizing about Duff and her sis taking showers together, when in reality the only breast you’ve ever touched has been in a bucket of Extra Crispy. Pow.

Dignity, as a whole, misses its point entirely. Skip it.

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