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Country Music Awards Deny Audience/Around The World
By Jessica Grabert: 2008-02-29 14:50:03
I am unable to lie: I don’t understand the appeal of country music. I’m not spitting on the likes of Hank Williams, Johnny Cash, or The Carter Family, nor Loretta Lynn, Jimmie Rodgers; well, you get the point. It’s this modern country mumbo jumbo that leaves me feeling slightly off kilter, like I’m trying to collect water but my bucket’s got a hole in it. I know, I know there’s that whole argument concerning authenticity and irony—how country music is both inauthentic and authentic for attempting to seem authentic. How country singers learn to cry as a badge of honor or wear blatant symbols of their cowboy persona to make a somewhat obtrusive point. I get it, as fucking tedious as saying all that is.
To turn matters into even more of an extravaganza, three times a year I’m exposed to a country music awards show, or, at the very least, constant advertisements for said awards show, like I’m some ridiculous rube who wants to celebrate this weird-ass culture by watching all my favorite girls ‘n’ boys dressed up in some of their most fancy clothin.’ Count it, ladies and gentleman, three times. While this subjection could be the fault of my lifelong habitation of southern Indiana, it’s still irritating to grasp that these awards celebrate a mores that I reject on a daily basis. Anyway, so there’s the CMA’s, which, thankfully, won’t be spoken of until some time late next year. Then, there are the upcoming CMT Music Awards, voted on by the lovely folk in the U.S. of A, and the ACM Awards; both will grace the world with their presence in the coming months. Now that I’ve finished my educating spiel, I can manage to get to the point. If I am forced to watch these awards shows, which will probably occur as, unfortunately, many of my friends are country fiends, why can’t they at least find someone bold, beautiful, or even intelligently entertaining to host the program? This year, Reba McEntire will host the ACM awards…for the tenth time in a row. Call me shallow, but I would rather watch someone popular and beautiful make pertinent commentary than hear some beginning-to-get-too-old-for-plastic-surgery-to-work, pathetically upbeat redhead singer who once had a few, alright several hits, slopping around WB Network-worthy humor as if the audience is a bunch of middle-school aged children. The CMT Music Awards will also be easy to ignore. CMT understood the formula—the female hosting is both cute and relevant. The problem is that I feel rather like a pedophile for even calling this female cute. That’s right, fifteen year-old Miley Cyrus will be hosting and putting her Disney roots on exhibition. Again, these roots are catered to a slew of kids, not an avid adult audience. It all seems to be a problem of application. Either the prevalent audiences for country music are a plethora of kids or a group of people who aren’t intelligent enough to understand humor beyond a menial level. That, or the coordinators know nothing of demographics. I’d like to think coordinators and listeners of country music everywhere are not dumbasses, so I’m banking on the former. If kids are the main base for listening to country music, perhaps when they grow up, country music will become the indie music of today—you know, the really avant garde shit to listen to. Wouldn’t that be a trip? Alright, so quite possibly people are inane, proving my theory that today’s country music has no real appeal, unless you are a sheep. My, didn’t I wrap that up nicely… RELATED: hank williams, johnny cash, loretta lynn, miley cyrus, reba mcentire
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