Call your boss and tell him you need a few days off. It’s time for a three day bender reliving the glory days. Eighties mega-stars and habitual body self-abusers Motley Crue have announced a new North American tour, and while your wife, children, and common sense might tell you to stay at home, leather spandex, teased hair, and thousands of strippers from Milwaukee to Fresno desperately want you to blow off your responsibilities and throw down like Reagan’s old man smell is still in the White House.
According to Billboard, the series of gigs start at the beginning of February in sunny California and end by mid-March in chilly, underrated Maine. That gives you between roughly three and four months to scratch together between one hundred and twenty-five and one hundred and seventy-five dollars for the festivities. The actual price of admission is only twenty-five to seventy-five, but we both know you’ll need an extra hundred for hookers and blow.
Below is the complete list of cities and dates. Fear not, though, if your neck of the woods isn’t marked for pillage and ransack, Nikki Sixx and friends are already planning a Summer Tour for all the unfortunate S.O.B.s who can’t make it to one of these gigs. Motley Crue---always concerned with the welfare of others--God Bless ‘em.
Feb. 2: San Diego (Cox Arena)
Feb. 4: Reno, Nev. (Reno Events Center)
Feb. 6-7: Las Vegas (the Joint)
Feb. 10: Omaha, Neb. (Quest Center)
Feb. 11: Moline, Ill. (iWireless Center)
Feb. 13: Grand Rapids, Mich. (Van Andel Arena)
Feb. 14: Madison, Wis. (Alliant Energy Center)
Feb. 15: Rockford, Ill. (Metro Centre)
Feb. 17: Des Moines, Iowa (Wells Fargo Arena)
Feb. 18: Saint Paul, Minn. (Xcel Energy Center)
Feb. 19: Green Bay, Wis. (Resch Center)
Feb. 21: Nashville (Sommet Center)
Feb. 22: Birmingham, Ala. (Birmingham Jefferson Convention Complex)
Feb. 25: Greensville, S.C. (Bi-Lo Center)
Feb. 27: Lafayette, La. (Cajun Dome)
Feb. 28: New Orleans (New Orleans Arena)
March 3: Miami (Hard Rock Casino)
March 4: Orlando, Fla. (UCF Arena)
March 6: Atlantic City, N.J. (Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa)
March 7: Erie, Pa. (Erie Events Center)
March 8: Hershey, Pa. (Giant Center)
March 10: Ottawa, Ontario (Scotiabank Place)
March 11: Hamilton, Ontario (Copps Coliseum)
March 13: Uncasville, Conn. (Mohegan Sun Arena)
March 14: Baltimore (1st Mariner Arena)
March 16: New York (Madison Square Garden)
March 17: Manchester, N.H. (Verizon Wireless)
March 18: Portland, Maine (Cumberland County Civic Center)
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