Dave Grohl Loves Metallica

By Tim Peterson: 2008-05-10 20:42:47

Aw gee, isn’t Dave Grohl adorable? No, you perv, I’m not talking adorable in that teddy-bear- you-violate- in-bouts-of-loneliness way, I’m talking adorable like the high school freshman who still sucks his thumb and sleeps in mommy and daddy’s bed. If you’re not catching my drift, I’m talking about his letter to Metallica. If you’re still not getting it and now you’re pissed because I’m insulting the drummer from Nirvana, cool your jets, I’ll explain.

On Thursday, Dave Grohl posted an open letter to the band concerning their forthcoming album. He spitshined the band’s ass, writing “I can’t wait to hear the new shit, and no matter what you guys do I’ll always be the first one at the shop waiting to hear it. I’m sure you’ll come out and blow everybody’s fuckin’ minds, because you’re fuckin’ METALLICA!” See my point, the man is the band’s biggest groupie. Want more proof? He boasts about listening to St. Anger. That’s like some horndog trying to bag a girl by saying “Baby, I’d even kiss your herpes.”

Now, I’d be satisfied simply lambasting Dave Grohl’s sycophancy if it wasn’t for the letter’s puzzling postscript: “Are you finished recording the drums yet?” Is he merely interested in the instrument he keeps on the backburner because singing lead and playing guitar has more MTV appeal? Or, does he hope to collaborate with Lars Ulrich and the boys on the album? Or, is someone finally calling out Lars for his stiff, repetitive drumming that functions only to keep time as opposed to add any further dynamics to one of metal’s most influential bands? I’m not saying that hard-hitting Grohl is John Bonham reincarnated, but the man at least plays with feel.

Regardless of suckups and blowhards, proof of Metallica’s rehab from the drunken mess that was St. Anger is due out in the fall, and Dave Grohl’s letter in its full brownnosing glory can be found here.

RELATED: nirvana, foo fighters, dave grohl, metallica

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Kendra Says:
May 11th, 2008 at 23:30
Yours is the best post I have read about Dave's letter. The wit helps me excuse the slights at Dave's expense. I love his "adorable" groupie side. It makes me think,maybe he would understand the way I feel about Him & FOO!

Tim Says:
May 14th, 2008 at 02:17
Metallica rules.
Grohl's input is the only thing that kept Nirvana from being a "The Cure" tribute band. Probot was fantastic.
Tim Peterson is a pussy.

dwight Says:
May 14th, 2008 at 03:09
Actually, Tim the commenter, Nirvana was completely amazing even before Grohl, Metallica was cool before they started sporting 'staches and covering bands from Oklahoma, and anyone who thinks they still rule probably probes their bot a little too much.

Julie Says:
May 14th, 2008 at 13:24
Looks like Mr. Grohl's sarcasm may have gone over someone's head.

"But that album changed my life and I've been listening to your albums ever since (even 'St Anger'!)."

Translation: "St. Anger sucks more than a Hoover!"

"P.S. Are you finished recording the drums yet?"

Translation: "Everyone who knows anything about Metallica knows that Lars Ulrich, original cheese Danish, delays every album's release by three years because he's an idiot who can't play without a click track and is so anal about the sound of his drums that he works on them in post-production for months. I am making a joke about that. See what I did there?"

Don't thank me. I'm glad to help you understand.

Mark Says:
May 21st, 2008 at 14:24
To respond to Julie's comment- why can't you take the letter at face value? I hate the idea that positivity means either being a "suck-up" or it means "sarcasm". Everything about Dave Groul I can take a bit more at face value than other folks. Have you read his liner notes in the Probot lp? I guess that was Dave sucking up to his heroes too! I get the impression Dave has a certain purity to him that is lacking in most cynical people nowdays...He's truley inspired by music of all types- that's why he's a musically active son-of-a-bitch. This article is a friggen joke...

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Dave Grohl Loves Metallica

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