Did Punk's Soul Leave With CBGB?

Alright, emo kid, I know you’re reading this just like I know you’ve read my last few articles, just like I know you wrote about them on your Myspace. For all the rest of you, dear readers, please skim ahead to after the next paragraph. I need a word with our friend here.

Emo kid, mutter into the computer what you know about CBGB & OMFUG. Is that it? Quit smiling, just because you have a T-shirt with those letters doesn't mean you will get any respect here. It also means you know nothing about CBGB, or the history of your inbred music. CBGB & OMFUG stands for Country Bluegrass Blues and Other Music for Upstanding Gormandizers. That means good music for people who love good music. That’s not you so long as you have Hawthorne Heights looping from your stereo. CBGB was a club your little band would never have played in, that your favorite band never played in. The Ramones, Talking Heads, Blondie, and Patti Smith played at CBGB. Pity me; say you at least know who they are. Good. I’ll save you from all the details you don’t care to know. But, know this: CBGB was a club in downtown New York that gave a space for outcast punk bands to perform. In 2006 CBGB itself was outcasted as the owners could not afford the rent to keep the place. That’s right, it’s gone like all your friends when you started shopping at Hot Topic. Now, me and the adults are gonna talk; you can keep reading but keep quiet.

OK, we all know CBGB shut down a couple years ago. We all wish we could’ve been there for the last concert as Patti Smith took the mike for the last time. We all were pissed when we found out CBGB was replaced by a clothing store. Wait, you didn’t know? Well, John Varvatos now has a store where CBGB used to be. Yeah, John fucking shit Varvatos, that’s what I said when I found out. I didn’t even know what to say when my girl was watching E!, and there the bastard was in the bones of CBGB talking about how he wanted to make the store rocker and punk and keep the dream alive. Yeah, like Johnny Ramone would ever be seen stooping around in $500 intentionally torn jeans. John Varvatos is as rocker as Dave Navarro spewing baby-talk at Carmen Electra on MTV. If you’re as pissed about this as me, do something about it. Write articles on websites, send hate mail to John Varvatos, if you’re ever in New York and walk by the shop, kick rocks at the door. All I’m asking is what would Johnny do?