Disposable Pop Reaches Its Peak With Beyonce/Justin Collaboration

It’s finally happened. You knew it was bound to come to pass. The two most sticky, delectably pop celebrities in the world have finally decided to team up. And, I’m just sick to my stomach with the amount of poppy carbonation that’s sure to inject its way into my ears whether I invite it in or not.

The only offspring of Destiny and the King of Synchronicity (Beyoncé Knowles and Justin Timberlake, respectively) have decided to follow up their ”historic” performance at the VH1 Fashion Rocks show with more tracks for the swarming, saliva dribbling masses. Sources at NME.com, say Knowles and Timberlake sang the classic Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell hit “Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing” at the awards show.

Okay! Hold on! Hold on!

I know this is a news story, and I’m supposed to be a humble purveyor of musical truth and objectivity. But, as with last week, I find myself harboring the utmost responsibility of interjection. I’m sorry, but I don’t want a Motown classic such as this being masqueraded around as a song for two so-called “musical artists” who claim to be the “real thing.” That’s almost laughable. I’m up to my neck in pop garbage, and I’m just wondering what the hell happened!

I mean, when I die, is this what’s going to be left of my generation? Gummy filled junk food that does absolutely nothing to bolster the progress of music whatsoever? Is it just me, or is everything turning into an absolute waste of time?

And then, on top of everything else, somebody gave these two half-talented spectacles permission to remake a classic song from an era that shaped the very core of music in America? I’m all for paying homage, don’t get me wrong. In fact, these two should pray to the Heavenly saints of Motown and Stax for the music that came out of the 50s and 60s. But, this is a desecration of something sacred. It’s almost blasphemous to say that these two people are only viable because they have what is called stage persona. It only goes so far, folks.

After awhile, the nasally gesticulations of one Mr. Timberlake, and the seismic crash so reminiscent of Grand Molls that is Mrs. Knowles’s voice are going to tear the world apart and start the very mountains that stand to crumbling into nothingness.

As it is, I’m not a fan of either one of these folks and am highly disappointed that the selection of who got the chance to sing anything resembling a real song couldn’t get more creative than this.

Timberlake says of future collaborations with Mrs. Knowles, "I'll be in the studio this week (with her). Who knows what will come out of that.”

Who knows indeed, Justin. Who knows?