Dr Pepper Encourages Chinese Democracy

The people over at Dr Pepper either a) have too much time on their hands or b) really love Guns n’ Roses. Perhaps it’s a combination of the two that sparked some dim-witted soft-drink junkie to approach Axl Rose with this bright idea: release the decade-in-the-making Chinese Democracy and we’ll give everyone in America a free can of Dr Pepper. Everyone except former GNR guitarists and archenemies Slash and Buckethead, that is.

"It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper's special mix of 23 ingredients. So we completely understand and empathize with Axl's quest for perfection -- for something more than the average album.” said the Director of Dr Pepper’s marketing department – who, after this, may be looking after someone to hire.

And what’s with leaving out Slash and Buckethead? If you want to go down a list of Axl’s nemises’ that don’t deserve a soda, please continue with Courtney Love, Tommy Hilfiger, and most of Motley Crue. Gee, I wonder what’s next for the soft-drink giant? How about a series debunking urban legends! Start with: the prune juice in Dr Pepper. End with: Axl Rose actually working on an album.