It’s been twenty-eight years since The Eagles released a studio album of new material, and let’s just say I haven’t exactly been waiting on pins and needles. Sure, “Desperado” and “Hotel California” are classics, but “One Of These Nights” is one of the worst songs every written in the history of music. I would rather listen to a gay porno at full volume than ever hear that recorded abortion again. That being said, there are a lot of Eagles fans out there; so, I’m going to attempt to put on an objective face and bring you news on the new CD.

According to Billboard, Don Henley and friends released the single “How Long” to help support their upcoming album Long Road Out Of Eden. The track will be exclusively available at Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, and the band’s world wide web home. Corporate tie-ins like this are incredibly annoying, but since one of the Sam Walton’s grandchildren owns the Colorado Avalanche, I’ll let it slide. I haven’t heard “How Long” yet, but I’m sure it’s incredibly average, just like 95% of the other songs they have ever released.