Jay-Z vs. Noel Gallagher, Stay Tuned For A Bloodbath

Everyone loves a good fight, Mike Tyson vs. Evander Holyfield, Larry Bird vs. Magic Johnson, Hilary Clinton vs. Barack Obama, Bugs Bunny vs. Daffy Duck. Once the first punch is thrown, everyone wants to see whose arm gets raised in triumph while the other bleeds on the floor, sobbing in the fetal position. That’s the nature of the world, survival of the fittest if you will. The music world is no stranger to these feuds. We’ve seen feuds between bands and between rappers, inside bands and inside record labels. But rarely have we seen feuds stretch across genres. That is, until last month when Noel Gallagher’s white glove slapped the face of Jay-Z.

The feud, rivalry is not a word that merits the matchup, began when Jay-Z was announced as a headliner for upcoming Glastonbury Festival. Upon hearing the news, Gallagher declared “Glastonbury has a tradition of guitar music and even when they throw the odd curveball in on a Sunday night you go 'Kylie Minogue?' I don't know about it. But I'm not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. It's wrong..." It seems that when Gallagher talks people do still listen. Even Jay-Z listens.

Ever the politician, Mr. President set Gallagher in his place, retorting through Britain’s The Sun newspaper: “We don't play guitars, Noel, but hip-hop has put in its work like any other form of music. This headline show is just a natural progression. Rap music is still evolving. From Afrika Bambaataa DJ-ing in the Bronx and Run DMC going platinum, to Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince winning the first rap Grammy, I'm just next in the line. We have to respect each others' genre of music and move forward."

In one corner we have Jay-Z, president of Def Jam, husband of Beyonce, leader of the rap world. In the other corner we have Noel Gallagher, guitarist for Oasis, admitted pilferer of riffs, beggar of current relevance. One spends his time imagining what’s left for him to do while the other hunches over a stereo tape recorder in hand listening to others’ songs.

When the bell rings at Glastonbury on June 28, I imagine Jay-Z to take the stage and throw the first punch. It’s fixing to be a knockout.