Jazz Hands For Michael Jackson

There's some wretched stuff going down on this little planet we call Earth, and I can't help but feel like we're all running around like a bunch of crazed Princess Leias. "Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope," we utter in unison. But the identity of our metaphoric Obi Wan isn't necessarily clear. Is it Barack Obama? Is it ourselves? Is it a wish to a leprechaun that will reverse all effects of global warming? Maybe, just maybe... the answer to all of our prayers is a staged musical of Michael Jackson's Thriller. Maybe.

Do you remember the scene in 13 Going On 30 where Jennifer Garner convinces Mark Ruffalo to do the dance from the "Thriller" music video? He's hesitant at first, but the entire party starts to heat up once he succumbs to the rhythm. And even if you've never witnessed this cinematic masterpiece, it demonstrates a very simple cultural lesson--the "Thriller" dance is more powerful than God. With a werewolf Michael Jackson by your side, anything is possible.

But is our seemingly sweet boyfriend deceiving us through all that red leather? The idea of this musical sounds fantastic on paper, but there's no possible way that it'd actually be good. I mean, how can the writers possibly link an awesome dance with zombies to a song about not being someone's baby daddy? Let's just hope the spectacle of this production will make up for the ridiculous plot.