Madonna's Next Step, Parents Keep Your Kids Close

The Material Girl has nearly finalized her adoption of an African infant. Madonna, the woman who adopted the name of the mother of Jesus, an English accent, bisexuality, and Kabbalah, wants in on another trend. It does seem to be a sign of her aging. She used to get in on the trends just before the middle class, but, with Angelina Jolie reading the United Nations bedtime stories and Brad Pitt tucking them in at night, she had to get in on the act.

And, of course, Madonna has built a career around inviting controversy, and this adoption is no different. As reported by Gina Serpe for Yahoo! News, according to the spokesperson for the Human Rights Consultative Committee, Maxwell Matewere, said "Others might apply to adopt and use the Madonna case to justify adoption, and yet they could be illegal adoptions for trafficking, organs and sexual exploitation," he said. Yes, thank you, Madonna, for pedophilia, Mexican kidney transplants, and prostitution? I know Angelina did make out with her brother and adopting the third-world set her on the path to sainthood, but you have almost two decades of mistakes on her.

But, I guess this is your best bet, huh? It’s not like your music’s gonna keep you in the headlines, even if you and Justin Timberlake are pop-locking around each other in negligee in your new music video which still looks like mom seducing son to a hip-hop beat. Not even America’s ready for that. We’re still getting over your beastly biceps.