Pete Doherty, It's Over, Please!

Pete Doherty, England’s idiot savant, has been evicted from his nine-bedroom mansion according to Music-News.com. I know, even I’m having trouble figuring out why we care.

Is it because he’s been inside Kate Moss? No, the cocaine was far more interesting even if none of us were surprised. Is it because we all love a good trainwreck? Perhaps, but we do have our hands full with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. Is it because we hate to see such a prodigy let his gifts go to waste? Nope, otherwise we wouldn’t have MTV or E!, besides who says the lad has talent. Have none of us listened to Doherty’s former band The Libertines? No? Me neither. Then why is there this fascination with such an abomination of humanity, an individual better off on the front lines in Iraq?

Maybe that’s just it: we’re baffled into interest, like watching QVC at 3 in the morning. The man has absolutely nothing to offer the world so we offer our attention the way we don’t change the channel anytime a commercial for the Christian Children’s Fund comes on.

This needs to stop. We need to change the channel on Pete Doherty. We need to kick the habit of watching junkie rock stars lick toilet bowls because they think it might get them high. We need to quit giving Pete Doherty reason to fuck up. After all, no one paid any attention to him when he was a respectable citizen.

Besides, if we stay tuned to the downward spiral, the surprise will be ruined when the man becomes the first democratically-elected King of England.