Rant: American Idol Has Society By The Balls

American Idol. A show I can confidently say is a wasteland of mindlessness that combines the worst of reality television with the bigoted idiots who generate stars in the music industry. It seems to me that television will always maintain a level of inanity and the music industry will always create stars for the public to worship based on beauty (well, and maybe a slight amount of singing talent), but, do we really need a show that takes the worst of the worst and combines it into one ludicrous hour long program each week?

The answer, unfortunately, is yes. Maybe not in this exact format and maybe not with as much public hype and hysteria, but yes. Because the public will always need ready-mades, stars that give nothing creatively, stars who are handpicked deliberately and stamped with a label’s signature so that the public can live vicariously through them. And American Idol has become vital because, for one hour each week, the public decides, albeit not always using critical thinking skills, who will continue to the next round of fame and fortune, who will increasingly be shown on the glossy pages of their tabloids, and who will be discussed at the dinner table. It’s sort of like voting in an election—the public is imperative to the decision-making process, but they’re not always nearly as informed as they should be. Without American Idol, gasp, producers would have to assume their duties as star manufacturers, and, with their fancy suits, their MBA’s, and their general lack of the ability to sympathize with the wants and needs of the average American, it’s becoming increasingly difficult for them to get the formula right. Anyway, because the American people are now privileged enough to decide which image they want, they’re doing half the work for them. What a beautiful system.

Alright America, think you have the crass and guile to make an unbiased decision concerning the raw, undiscovered talent that could soon be singing from your mp3 players? Now, to the meaty, informed portion of this avant-garde rant. Well, hate to break it to you, but sometimes they’re pimping out ex-hoes. Reuters has reported Carly Smithson, bona fide American Idol contestant, most likely noted as the one with the brilliant voice, the slight Irish accent, and a seemingly detrimental amount of tattoos, is actually an ex-MCA Records client whose album Ultimate High (under Carly Hennessey) can be currently bought on Amazon.com for fewer than four dollars. So, the industry is now cycling through old clients in the hope of rekindling their careers and turning them into the moneymaking machines they should have been. How many other American Idol contestants have had their five minutes of fame already? Tune in next week and maybe we’ll have a “where have they been” segment for most of the cast members in season 7.

Face it, people, you’re being played. Played by industries, agents, producers, writers, and even Ryan Seacrest himself. It is disdainful and pathetic and partially our own fault. American Idol has become just another travesty blanketing the gap between the real marvels and the clowns, the real superheroes and the lackeys. Next to Thom Yorke, Clay Aiken can just juggle. Next to Joanna Newsom, Kelly Clarkson can just whine. If it’s all about image, than the image of the American society has gone to shit, and I expect less and less from established music sources all the time.



RELATED: rant, american idol, thom yorke, clay aiken, kelly clarkson, joanna newsom

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