SNL Makes Calls To Bullpen, Mariah Replaces Janet

Less than twenty-four hours after announcing Janet Jackson had pulled out, Lorne Michaels has found her replacement. The beautiful, busty, and batshit crazy Mariah Carey will belt out two songs from NBC’s famed Studio 8H. Being a producer for Saturday Night Live must be a pretty sweet gig. While other shows freak-out and scramble to find a replacement whenever someone bails, SNL can book another A-list star within the day.

According to Entertainment Weekly, Mimi will perform two yet-to-be-announced tracks from her new album E=MC2. Whatever. As long as she doesn’t bust out “Honey”, I’ll be happy. It’s not like I watch SNL for the musical performances anyway.

Following in the footsteps of fellow Judd Apatow favorite Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill will make his hosting debut this week. The show goes live at eleven thirty, and I know I’ll be watching.