Sadly, Joe Simpson Still In Music Biz, Signs EMI
Former minister, manager and incestual intellectual Joe Simpson has finally found a new famewhoring investment besides his daughters in the form of EMI Music Group. His Papa Joe record label – record label? This guy works a record label? - has partnered with the mostly independent company to distribute the physical and digital sales of the whole two, count ‘em two, artists on Papa Joe – newcomer An-Ya and younger daughter Ashlee’s ex-boyfriend, Ryan Cabrera. Would you think it slightly awkward for your dad to be managing one of your exes? Think not. Awkward has no bounds for this family. Remember, this is same man who boasted of daughter Jessica’s infamous rack once telling GQ “If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up! " Jesus, dad!
Founded in 2005, Papa Joe Records – named after the moniker he is rumored to officially go by in media circles - has seen just minor hiccups of success with Cabrera’s two albums selling a staggering $2 million combined. “Joe Simpson has a great instinct for talent and a knack for knowing what will connect with fans," EMI President Ronn Were said in the statement of the announcement adding, “We can’t wait to deliver success.” Joe Simpson’s instinct also includes being a lazy, overprotective money-laundering douche.