Say It Ain’t So: High Fidelity…The Musical?

The world is a scary place. The news features one horrible story after the next, the divorce rate is through the roof, and people spend more time chatting on cell phones than reading books. Sometimes we need a little something to ease the pain, make the world a better place.

Fat chance. Instead, we’re getting something so frightening that our eyes and ears just may plead for justice.

That’s right, folks—the beloved story “High Fidelity” by Nick Hornby, about a 30-something guy who confronts his five worst breakups while listening to a lot of groovy music, is being transformed into a Broadway musical. Get ready to taint your memory of the popular book, cute John Cusack movie, and the rockin’ soundtrack featuring The Kinks, Bob Dylan, and The Velvet Underground. Those days are gone.

Starting Dec. 7, “High Fidelity: A New Musical” is coming to Broadway. And while I’m all for a great Broadway show (here’s to you, Lion King), this one clearly doesn’t fit the bill.

If you don’t believe me, see for yourself by clicking right here. Hit VIDEO, then PLAY. You can witness the lead guy screaming cheesy lyrics (with yellow musical notes floating out of his mouth, no less), roaming endlessly down the block Aaron Sorkin-style, and singing boisterously into the phone—clearly a nod to Rent, except without rhyme or reason.

This obnoxious, grating show pretty much embodies everything wrong with musicals. Oh well, all the more reason to look forward to Dreamgirls.