Soulja Boy Tops Three Million Downloads

This is it, the moment when we, as a generation, collectively wake up and ponder what the hell we were thinking. It has to be. Things certainly can’t continue the way they’re currently progressing.

According to Top40-Charts, Soulja Boy’s “Crank Dat” has become the first ever song to top three million downloads. Not The Eagles’ “Desperado.” Not The Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction.” Seventeen year old Soulja Boy and his goofy ass dance. Shame on everyone who downloaded this.

Honestly, how did people get behind this shit? Am I the only one who finds group dances retarded? What was even thug about this? Let’s gangster-up the Hokey-Pokey and see how that sells. Let’s throw a sideways Yankees cap and a gold chain on Michael Flatley. At least he had a skill most people couldn’t replicate.

I have no interest in Supermaning that ho, and frankly, I’m ashamed three million of my peers do.