Thank You Kanye West, I Hate You

I hate you, Kanye West. I can’t stand your belligerent arrogance. I resent that you present yourself as a whiny crybaby. I hate that you made Daft Punk mainstream. I hate that you start fashion trends. I hate that you’re down with hipsters. I hate that you’re a millionaire and can’t spell.

So why’d you have to debut a really really good song Sunday night on MTV’s Video Music Awards?

After so much non-stop touring (and whining), where did you find the time to reportedly record you’re fourth studio album, and the single which may launch it, “Love Lockdown”? Did you really write this just a week and a half ago, you bastard? I thought you swore you’d never play the VMA’s again, and boy do I wish you didn’t. Damn you for having an album that might come out this December.

Thanks for creating one of the best bass-ridden beats I’ve heard from a rap artist since mid-90s Jay-Z. Thanks for dressing like you just came from an inner-city senior prom. Thanks for playing this song at the Democratic National Convention even though it has nothing to do with politics. Thanks for being a Democrat. Thanks for providing me the song I’ve listened to a total of 13 times today. I hate you.