The Elitist Eagles Don't Invite The Public To Gig

Interested in attending the release party for the Eagles first studio album in almost thirty years? Well, if you have two grand sitting around and personally know one of the members, you may have an outside chance at snagging one of the twenty-three hundred seats. The gig, scheduled to take place on October 31st, will be an invitation only affair for the music industry. I knew this job would eventually take me to places I’d only dreamed about! What? I’m not famous enough? Goddamnit.

According to BBC, the concert will take places at the Indigo, which is located just outside of the O2 arena. Famous faces from all across the globe are expected to be in attendance and some of the tickets will even include hotel packages. Wouldn’t it be funny if the accommodations ended up being a Motel 6 or some European equivalent with bad plumbing and a constant fear of junkie break-ins? It would serve the attendees right for not carting my marginally famous ass along.