Tom Waits Plans Tour, Is Weird

I admit that I have only recently looked into the oddity that is Tom Waits. Though his music is not necessarily my favorite fare, I am more and more fascinated by this man’s character and decisions with every unorthodox turn I see him make. His strange role as God’s FBI agent in the movie Wristcutters: A Love Story (If you still haven’t seen it, you deserve to have the ending spoiled) surprised me, and the fact that he still produces albums even though his voice sounds like a rusty Honda running on three cylinders amazes me. And if there was any remaining doubt I might have harbored that Waits is indeed a subway bum in an international musician’s form, his latest venture cements the notion good and tight.

According to NME Monday, Waits’ new tour, titled “Glitter And Doom,” is mapped after a constellation. More specifically, it is mapped after the constellation Hydra, which, honestly, looks more like a tour map than anything else; nonetheless, this tiny slice of eccentricity succeeds in raising a quizzical eyebrow on my otherwise stoic visage. Nice one, Tom.

The tour begins at the tail of the Hydra, in Phoenix, AZ, continuing up the snake’s body and ending on one of its multiple heads in Atlanta, GA. And to ensure that his new Hydra-tour is received with a maximum amount of puzzlement, he announced very correctly that the first initials of the cities on the tour, listed in Hydra order, spell out the acronym “PEHDTSCKJMBA.” Further, he says this acronym stands for “People Envy Happiness, Dogs, Though, Sense Courage, Knowing Jubilation Means Better Ass…sets.” And honestly, I’m glad he noticed that, too, because I was afraid to point it out to anyone.

For anyone requiring further proof that Tom Waits is a funny, funny man, his kooky YouTube press conference spills the details below.