Van Halen: Clash Of The Superegos

Rolling Stone recently asked David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar what it would take for Eddie Van Halen to successfully reteam with either former frontman. The answer appears to be pigs taking flight on a cold day in hell, as it will take something along those lines for any of the egos involved to ease up in the slightest bit.

For his part, David Lee Roth seems to have some perspective on things. "A Van Halen reunion is a lot like NASCAR — are you there to see the winner or the crash? In this aspect, we’re a lot closer to Jerry Springer meets Knots Landing, which, to me, sells T-shirts.” The singer has spent years trying to convince anyone who would listen that a reunion needs to happen, and these, apparently, are his reasons.

Eddie seems to have calmed a touch, going so far as to make a legitimate offer to Roth. Sammy Hagar has a thing or two to say about this, and, naturally, he seems less than convinced of the project’s prospects. "Dave and Ed working together? I don’t see it in a million years . . . Dave’s gonna want it to be all about him. Ed’s gonna want it to be all about him. And that’s a tough one right there. I’ll probably just be sitting over in the corner, cracking up.”

The recent replacement of founding bassist Michael Anthony with Eddie’s son Wolfgang confused a lot of people, but Hagar isn’t one of them. "Michael and I are friends, which is why he isn’t in the band anymore.”

For all the tumult and injured superegos at work here, the back and forth, soap-operaish shenanigans are keeping everyone involved in the public eye. Each has flamed-out spectacularly in recent years: Hagar now sells tequila and provides opportunities for girls to go wild; Eddie trades on his name and past exploits while trying to recapture any bit of his former relevance; and David Lee Roth failed miserably as Howard Stern’s replacement and released a bluegrass reworking of Van Halen’s decidedly non-bluegrass “Jump.”

Roth’s analogy was pretty dead-on, though. Let’s be honest: it’s not cars driving in circles that makes NASCAR so popular. It’s the ever-present chance of something going horribly awry.

Bearing that in mind, who else is ready for another spin around the track on board with Eddie and Diamond Dave?

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